Paul Mc Kenna's voice is velvety smooth, sensuous and safe. I find myself melting into the sofa. Inspired by my friend R. I have now welland truly on my way to changing my life in seven days.

Already changes are taking place. I am full of energy, happy , and actually went for a long walk this afternoon - a good hour and a half.. what's more , I enjoyed it. Must get a pedometre. I'd like to know how many steps I take every day. Is it 1000, 2000, 10,000 or more?

I wonder what subliminal messages are being programmed into my grey matter. The images flashing through my mind while I listen , when I am not asleep that is , are very pleasurable and erotic. My subconscious is fertile ground. Seeds are being planted in it's rich soil and soon they will grow and produce fruit.. abundance , wealth as yet unimaginable , self- confidence, financial independence, superb relationships,successand prosperity in all areas of my life ! Wonderful.

On top of that , the animal kindom sent me signs :

" Honour your future," says Squirrel, "by readying yourself for a change. Squirrel also teaches to take no more than Í need. I may want to lighten my load, and get rid of clutter or surplus.Also , I need to find a suitable place for all the stuff that I have gathered. Have I gathered things that do not serve me ? So , I must be prepared , and not go nuts !

It's now 6:30 Monday evening , the sun has set and the sky is RED .. a spectacular red purple glow. Days are getting noticably shorter.

Again and again I am cheered up by GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION for what I have and what comes my way. I am choosing to focus on all the good things in my life rather than what is missing. I am consciously choosing to LOVE " what is " which is both incredibly uplifting and inspiring.

I mentioned to H. that I wanted a manager - an agent to get me work and clients etc .....and he reminded me of my Angel Agency.

I closed my eyes went within and saw them- a whole bunch of them - their amazing , brilliant energies bright and silvery golden in a sort of triangle shape. Their forms vaguely distinguishable as separate entities , yet part of a whole. They seemed happy . There was much activity and a lot of running around as they sprang into action. There was one rapidly clicking away on the computer,another receiving incoming faxes and yet another delivering messages. It was an amazing scene- like the rush on the trading floor of a busy stock exchange just before closing time. Bless my Angel Agency who have sprung into action for me. I intend to mobilise these energies further because apathy and lethargy are so very dibiltating . All in all an excellenty session with H. today both healing and encouraging.

Which is more than I can say for the voluntary agencies. I'm really pissed off with them, I've offered my services free of charge and none of them seem to dare to take me on :-(

The women's shelter one can only take on therapists that are registered within the system , which excludes us, Gestalt therapists and many other kinds of qualified therapists. Rules and regulations. This is Sweden for you , boringly stuffy and beaurocratic. Initiative is not rewarded here. Everything has to be " approved " by the national board of health and welfare and they are a stuffy grey bunch of sorry individuals , for the most part.

When J , offered her services for free for a month at the hospital ( body harmony ) and was greatly appreciated by parents and cancer patients ,most of them children. The chief doctor however and some of the staff offered nothing but contempt and criticism for her work. I'm sure they felt threatened by her and her beautiful healing soothing methods outside the realms of science . She was treated like a " witch" . Alas , as in days gone by , ignorance and fear .

Feels like a strange sort of day. What do I feel ? Melancholy ? A sort of sadness. I start by affirming:

" I release the perceived failures of all my
yesterdays in the profound hope for all my tomorrows."

Hmmm feeling a bit low today, which is only to be expected after the many "highs" and joyful moments I've been experiencing recently. What goes up must come down, eh ? Even as I write this and acknowledge the " down " it begins to change.

This being human is a like a guest house , says Sufi mystic and poet Rumi :

" Every morning a new arrival.....
....A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all !
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight."

So .. bring it on chaps ! I'm ready for ya .. give it all you've got ! Yes ...melancholy is good too. So now I am allowing the feelings and breathing through them.

My home is in a mess, needs cleaning ; laundry needs doing too, papers need sorting ; in short , lots of practical organising and physical activities that I am not too fond of.
Best get on with it .

Blessings of peace and goodwill and happiness to the hundresds and thousands and millions observing Ramadan . During Ramadan , Muslims fast from first light until sundown,abstaining from food and drink.
Now abstaining from food I can understand , but water ? Nahhh that can't be healthy.

" Camels do it all the time " my Muslim friend in Marocco tells me .
" Ha ha .. but I am no camel" I tell him. My padding does not readily quench my thirst.

Still ,t he fasting during Ramadan is regarded principally as a method of self purification. Good on ya , chaps and chapesses.Itis said that by cutting oneself off from worldly comforts, even for a short time, a fasting person gains true sympathy with those who go hungry as well as growth in one's spiritual life. This is very noble. Does this include kisses and cuddles ? I ask
" No" says my middle- eastern friend.
" Yes " says my Moroccan friend.

So .. who to believe ?
Who is right ? Who is wrong?

I must say , I don't believe in either right or wrong. There are just actions and consequences of actions , That's it.

Right , off in into the bowels of the earth I go to get my laundry. All signs of passion in the sheets washed away *sighs". Another sad thought ! lol
But .. I also know that nothing ever leaves without something else taking its place.
So , tonight I sleep alone.
A good thing .. I had black bean stew with brown rice and broccoli earlier .. rich in iron and vitamins. Good for you. See - you can indulge when sleeping alone .D ;-)
Ahhh emoticons .. lovely .
TTFN, blog and bloggers .. hasta la vista !

My first blog here. mmmmm .. and I appreciate my right to write. Writing is fun . I don't don't know what I will write here until I have written it. Hopefully it will be something memorable or probably memorable mumblings and ramblings.

First , a dream I had last night ; I have an audience with the Pope ( !!! ) I am there with others, to receive a diplomas .

The pope, is surrounded by his assistants and body guards; men in suits.
I am the first to go up and receive my diploma from the hands of his holiness who hands it to me - it is poster size. Then ,he collapses. His assistant and I pull him up to his feet ,but he seemed to be dying and appears to die in my arms. I remember thinking " I've not had anyone die in my arms before " and it feels like an honour ....

Anyway , as it turns out.. he was not dead.One assistant drags him over to one side and facing a window he starts to do something to his third eye. I see then that the pope is not dead, he's still allive .

Next, I see a coffin .. I think they are trying to put him into this coffin , but all the while he was not dead ..strange .

Also in this dream are the Swedish King and Queen - not the real ones , but their look- alikes ... going around trying to fool people and entertain them.