miramiramazing

Tanzanite is a calming stone.

Helps manifest desires through will and vision.

Tanzanite gives personal insight and power.

A good stone of protection.

Tanzenite helps with physcic abilities
A calming stone which is ideal for use when life becomes extremely busy, disorganized or chaotic.

Tanzanite can help to bring your life back into balance.

One of the most powerful stones used for helping to connect the throat, third eye and crown chakras.

The right to exist
The right to be in a form , the body
The right to be united and free
The right to hold and be held
The right to be related / to be in relationship
The right to affirm
The right to to express
The right to to be seen and to be heard
The tight to love and to be loved
The right to be truthful honest, purposeful
The right to be needy
The right to be joyful
The right to be vulnerable

Laundry day always does me in. Cos of my sprained foot and laziness, there's 2 months worth of laundry.

Should tell you that doing laundry involves several flights of stairs down into the bowels of the earth to the laundry room , heaving heavy plastic IKEA full of dirty clothes down down down into the murky depths of the underworld wooooooo Its dark and musty and smelly down there in the cellar. Neighbours have told me they've seen rats. Sometimes I think homeless people spend the night down there. Sad. Keys get pinched and we can't get in.

Well half of it is done now and my smalls are tumbling around happily in the drier , which is in my kitchen.

I'm glad I don't have to go down to the river ................

Ylang Ylang ....Cananga odorata......

Fresh, floral, sweet, slightly fruity, fragrant yet delicate.

This is supposed to be good for Anxiety, depression, frigidity, hypertension, palpitations, stress.

[Julia Lawless, The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Essential Oils (Rockport, MA: Element Books, 1995), 61-67.]

Can cause headaches and nausea if used in excess, so take care.

Today, SENSUALITY continues.
Today is a new day.
EVery moment, a fresh moment.
Today is the best day of my life.
LUST is on my mind .
To be continued ......

Patchouli...... Pogostemon cablin.. sounds like a spell
I am enchanted and enveloped in this scent while clicking away at the keyboard

Deep Golden Brown oil .....Rich, earthy, woody with a nearly hidden fruity note.

Patchouli .. patchouli ...patchouli ....
OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !

There's more here:

http://ne.essortment.com/patchoulioil_rsap.htm

If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few.

-- Shunryu Suzuki

From " Moving Forward, Keeping Still "

night night .. peace zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Three days without bread. I'm trying, I really am. Eggs , fish, vegetables , and nuts.

Funny, it's not as difficult as I thought it would be. Stomach feels good too. * she pats herself on the back * Well done ! One day at a time. I would like to see if I can go 2 weeks without bread as part of my G.I. experiment.

Dragged myself home last night absolutely knackered. Aching limbs, exhausted to the point of tears , and yet happy. Three intensive days of BioPsychosynthesis with my favourite teacher, a doctor, psychiatrist , and also a shaman.

First drumming in the four directions, above and below and then three times round the circle. Powerful stuff. Then this poem by Kabir .

There's a moon in my body...
There's a moon in my body, but I can't see it!
A moon and a sun.
A drum never touched by hands, beating, and I can't hear it!
As long as a human being worries about when he will die,
and what he has that is his,
all of his works are zero.
When affection for the I-creature and what it owns is dead,
then the work of the Teacher is over.
The purpose of labour is to learn;
when you know it, the labour is over.
The apple blossom exists to create fruit; when that
comes, the petal falls.
The musk is inside the deer, but the deer does not
look for it:
it wanders around looking for grass.
Kabir

Mt test results say I'm a cA Type 4- " a cA Type 4partner radiates warmth and love. They are affectionate during sex and will rarely shy away from telling you how they feel about you. This is someone you can always rely on to be honest and sincere, since sex is the ultimate expression of their trust in you.

Both physically and emotionally, a Type 4 is a sexual explorer. Orgasm is rarely the driving goal with this person and because of this, they are likely to be creative and able to take you places you may never have expected.

But how do you spot your Type 4 sexual partner before becoming intimate with them?

New research has shown that you can determine a person's sexual type simply by observing subtle cues in their everyday behavior."

so now we all know lol

I checked the guestbook 0n my web site today and found a message from one of my first pupils ever, teaching practice , 1970.

"When I was a little girl, we had a trainee teacher at our school in Birmingham, England named ( my name ) . She made a great impression on me. Could you be the same person perhaps? "

It's amazing how we touch each other's lives . This touches me deeply.

Snow sunshine and minus 10 C or so . A bright and perky parky day.

Mehmet called from town- has lost his mobile so had to use public phone . We were cut off after 10 seconds or so and it had eaten up a quid in change.

These days, we tend to assume that everyone has a mobile phone . Public phones, it seems ,just aren't there anymore, don't work or cost the earth.

For years and years we all managed without them and now ? I wonder sometimes how this affects our natural built in intuitive abilities , our telepathic radar system. Also there are so many waves in the air these days .. cyberspace , aerospace .. microwaves .. all these waves , frequenciies.. heavily trafficated space .

Desire is the fire of life.
Obstacles don't matter very much.
Reality forms around your commitment to succeed.

Right.. that's it , I quit.
Hi ho hi ho its back to work I go .........hi ho . Meeting in just under an hour. 3 people . Brainstorming on possibilities for a new venture / project.

Enrico will meet Andrea and we shall see what transpires between the three of us. E's background is in alternative meds and he has this method of being able tpo pick people who work well together. E. claims there are energy vampires and energy givers and designs groups where givers and takers work best together for maximum efficiency.

All sounds nebulous so far .. put there is potential in this. My instincts tell me so.

Do you remembert the Celestine Prophesy ? The tenth Insight ? Well it's a lot like that .

I admire the way E. found me and without really knowing how to present his great idea turned up claiming that I was absolutely the right person tp join him in this venture and that there would be a third person . Evenually I mentioned Andrea and she was approved ( Kinesology was involved ) It 's all a bit woo woo .. but I am grounded and looking forward to the adventure. Que sera sera .......

Let go of your worries

and be completely clear-hearted,

like the face of a mirror

that contains no images.

If you want a clear mirror,

behold yourself

and see the shameless truth,

which the mirror reflects.

If metal can be polished

to a mirror-like finish,

what polishing might the mirror

of the heart require?

Between the mirror and the heart

is this single difference:

the heart conceals secrets,

while the mirror does not.
-- Rumi

( Rumi hit the spot again !! )

Pay attention to your emotions

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood
and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to
drug them or suppress them, but to understand them
so that we can intelligently direct our emotional
energies and intentions.... It's time for human
beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into
emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No
magic pill will do it."

-- Doc Childre

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight
lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow
these emotions to be expressed, they will do
serious damage.

But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our
emotions, we discover that they don't last. The
monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat.
In fact, if we are willing to experience our
emotions completely, without resistance of any kind,
they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.

The only thing that keeps emotions alive within
you over long periods is your unwillingness to
acknowledge them.

"By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid
and stereotyped; by repressing them we become
literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou;
encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison
it."

-- Joseph Collins

www.dailyguru.com

I'd like a digital camera so that I can take pics and choose and edit without needing to develop them and have paper copies.

There's so many cameras out there .. a jungle. What do I need to think aboutwhen choosing? Price is definitely an important issue. I'd like one for free if possible lol

I have two Pentax automatic cameras at the moment. One that sometimes works - it is tempremental as a result of getting soaked in sherry when the bottom of the bottle fell out while in my handluggage on the plane. Most of the sherry was soaked up by my coat and a copy of " the Prince of Tides " which swelled to twice its size and looks a bit browned off.

The other Pentax is also an automatic and takes good pics, but , alwas th batteries are so expensive about GBP20 a go .. I think about 10 quid a piece and they don't seem to last very long either.

Anyway , I'd like to be able to document my day in pics among other things. I remember I did that 1999 - the last 40 days for the millenium- a pic a day - whatever caught my eye that day. That was fun. I'll have to get them out and have a look.

So , chaps , chapesses ... any words of advice ? Tips ? Help ? Offers ?
Love to hear from you .
xxx's

Booked my tickets yesterday ,so United Kingdom here I come , arriving in Manchester 1 March and then back again to Noddyland 13 March just in time for mum's birthday and family reunion. Looks like my nieces and their partners will be there as well as sister who lives in London so full house. Should be a blast. I will need a weekend stay at P's in Silverdale to recoup and breathe. All is well and unolding as it should. Yeaaahhhh .

Nine oldsters booted out of nursing home -- for trying to have an orgy!

By MIKE FOSTER - Weekly World News- was sent to me today .

LONDON -- A group of nine love-hungry codgers were booted out of an old folks home after they tried to have an orgy in the recreation room!
The unidentified oldters, who ranged in age from 73 to 98, had apparently planned the unauthorized after-hours get-together for weeks. according to Melinda Helterford, spokesperson for the well-respected Edith Scarborough Nursing Home.

"They somehow got it in their heads to celebrate the 90th birthday of one of the women with a kind of sex party," said Miss Helterford.

"This may sound harmless or amusing to some people, but Scarborough has a reputation to uphold. We cannot tolerate that kind of conduct."

The nursing home made a concerted effert to keep the bizarre story out of the press and so details are difficult to come by.

But according to British papers, the let-it-all-hang-out party took place just after midnight on October 28. The three wrinkly Romeos and six sagging seductressess gathered together in the rec room and stripped to the buff.

"They really set the scene", a nursing home staffer who was not identified told a London tabloid. "

They'd got their hands on candles which they lit, and even put on music to create the mood."

The nude geezer gala went on for about 20 minutes before orderlies heard rumba music coming from the recreational room and went to investigate.
When they opened the doors, they were shocked to find old-timers crowded together in their birthday suits, slathered in baby oil.

"They hadn't got too far--I guess it was taking some of the gents a while to get started," the staffer said.

"But they were all naked.
Believe me, it was the scariest thing I've seen in my life."

Duhhhhhh ! what's scary is the staff's narrow-mindedness. I hope things have changed by the time my nursing home time comes around.

I hate it when I get my fingers slapped – told off- don’t you ? Grrrrrr Not only that , but early in the morning , barely awake and still in that cosy fuzzy warm place that is between the worlds of dreams and the waking world.

I sent out a mass mail to a group of people advertising my workshop. A few people had “ reacted negatively “ so the Academy phoned to say “ hey, this is not ok “.

Bugger.! Who do they think they ? Why is not O.K. because some people object ? Was it unethical of me to use the list in this way ? I wasn’t told I could not use it . In my mind I was doing them, the group a favour by telling them about something that I had to offer that would benefit them. I went out of my way to do that ..... was so proud of myself for finally getting off my butt and sending out this email ... action .... It took ever such a long time typing all the addresses in and then getting mailor demon messages back .....sighs .....

No, I shouldn’t be this sensitive. I should be tougher . Why do I let stupid things like this get to me ? It seems to confirm my fears that it is dangerous to “go out there. “ and make yourself known just when I had decided to be bold and daring. HA ! Better , safer to be a hermit and be P.C.

I’m laughing now . I am being dramatic. What's the reality of all this ?All that has happened is that they ( authority ) have pointed out what they do not like. Fair enough. Done is done. Why let myself get upset ? I have a problem with authority. I'm still the teenage rebel in many ways.

There’s a lesson in here somewhere. It is what it is, neither good nor bad. Caught with my defences down I have let this reprimand get to me ,

Who would I be without my anger and resentment ?- I’d be calm and happy , self- assured and invincible.Now that's a much nicer place to be.

So .. I’m going to turn the “ not ok “ into “ this is O.K. “ it’s my thinking about this that is not ok and that is causing all this stress, hurt and grief.

There ,., Done .. Demons exorcised and I can now move on and live happily ever after until the next time someone slaps my fingers .. but next time ... I will be the wiser . I welcome and look forward to the next time this happens.

End of moaning and complaining

How many can you get right?!!           man 1. ------------       board           Ans. = man overboard    Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.              stand 2. ------------           i           Ans. = I understand     OK.... Got the drift? Let's try a few now and see how you fare?     3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/           Ans. = reading between the lines       4.       r       road         a        d         Ans. = cross road      Not having a good day now, are you?  Redeem yourself.   5.      cycle        cycle        cycle         Ans. = tricycle     Not easy to figure out ha!             0 6. ------------       M.D.          Ph.D.         Ans. = two degrees below zero    C'mon give it a little thought!!           knee 7. ------------           light         Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)      U can prove u r smart by getting this one.                              ground 8.                    ------------ ---                   feet feet feet feet feet feet       Ans. = six feet underground      Oh no, not again!!   9.  he's X  himself         Ans. = he's by himself      Now u messing up big time.   10. ecnalg         Ans. = backward glance      Not even close!!   11. death . life         Ans. = life after death    Okay last chance ............ ....   12. THINK           Ans. = think big!!   And the last one is real fundoo...... ......   13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...           Ans. =  long time no 'C' (see)

"The question, "What is going to happen?" is less helpful than the question "What is the behavior that most urgently needs to be changed in the immediate future, if we are to have a future?"

"It would be a tremendous shift to start offending some people to get them to be accountable for what they believe, and for what is done by blind adherence to their irrational and intolerant convictions. "
"With the privilege of free expression comes the responsibility to use language in a sober, rational, and measured way: to be careful what you say, but not be so cautious that you never challenge or offend. Any sane person of good conscience knows what it is to talk incitement, and what it isn't."

"The Holy Book (of whatever faith) is the main tool of indoctrination and behavioral control for the theocratic agenda. The authority of Holy Writ is beyond human critique.... "

"The fear of offending is not a measure of compassion or consideration, although it disguises itself as such. It a concession to the demand for special exemption exerted by members of these religions, who seek the advantage of enforcing their agenda by operating on values and beliefs that cannot, they insist, be questioned, criticized, or ridiculed."

"The demand for special exemption is a disguised tactic for spreading tyranny and totalitarianism, the rule of "The Book".

"But if society at large complies with the demand for special exemption, the faith-based program of patriarchal domination that got rolling into high gear at the start of Kali Yuga will prevail, down to the last man standing."

"Although it is, I believe, unlikely that many people will renounce their beliefs and break away from the spell of The Book, societies around the world would be hugely improved if some people could at least talk openly about what they see as insane and inhumane in religious traditions."

From Countdown to 2012 by John Lash

... it has to be said !

By Shahrzad Mojab and Amir Hassanpour
Fadime Şahindal, was a young Kurdish-Swedish woman, studying in one of the universities of Sweden. On 21 January 2002, Fadime’s father shot her dead while she was visiting her sister in Uppsala. The murderer confessed to the killing, telling police that her daughter had shamed the family. Fadime had “shamed” her father and brother by rejecting arranged marriage, and for choosing her partner. She had also “shamed” the family in 1998 for a highly publicized court case against her father and brother who had threatened to kill her."

The article continues here:

http://www.kurdishlibrary.org/Kurdish_Library/Aktuel/Fadime_Sahindal/Articel_Hassanpour_Fadime01.htm

Unfortunately this is not an isolated case . This sort of " honour killing " continues and it angers and saddens me deeply.

There's a lot of stuff here on this site and quite a few provocative opinions and views stirring things up a bit . Be warned. Personally ,  I think it makes sense and it  is good medicine  to review all beliefs from time to time. Personal beliefs and religious beliefs. If we do not examine beliefs we do risk becoming enslaved.

It's a universal law: You have to give before you get.
You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest.
The more you sow, the more you will reap.
In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.

The law works to give you back more then you have sown.
The giver's harvest is always full.
Those that obtain have little.
Those who scatter have much.
Nature does not give to those who will not spend.

www.dailyguru.com

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her oldHammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?"

" Miramaze, are you a Shaman? " someone asked recently. I am all for opening up exploring . A shaman ? In a very loose sense , yes. - a healer who uses altered states of consciousness, more of a witch really.I go to places where writing does not exist; I do have contact with and am influenced by the spirit world and one of my core beliefs is that there are two worlds, the material and the spiritual. As a person I am unconventional and bohemian and work intuitively. My challenge is to communicate and express what I " know " into words. This is why I am so happy when someone else does it for me and I can say YES ... this is what I know .. all wrapped up in words .. in a beautiful neat package !

People who know me see me as a healer and medicine woman. I have never had shamanic training as such , but Shamans , curanderas , curanderos often cross my path either as friends , teachers or healers. I love the world of " woo woo " as it is sometimes known. It's not " woo woo to me at all.

Two years ago I received excellent healing from a Psychosynthesis practitioner who is also a Shaman , very pragmatic and down to earth. During a ritual, while in a trance she crossed over into another world to get information and help from her spirit guides. I could feel her guides working on my stomach ,and legs- They sent me a spirit animal guide or power animal who has been with me now for two years.

I am very open to shamanism, methods, techniques and ways that can be used in holistic healing towards greater well-being and self - realisation.

Are you a Shaman ?

"Often people attempt to live their lives
backwards: they try to have more things, or more money,
in order to do more of what they want so they
will be happier. The way it actually works is the
reverse. You must first be who you really are, then
do what you love to do, in order to have what you
want."

-- Margaret Young

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water".

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs".

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor". The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh straw on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold".

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite awhile. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old".

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon". They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all "sit around and chew the fat". Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "the upper crust". Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake".

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night, "the graveyard shift". to listen for the bell; thus someone could be, "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer".

After watching Al-Risalah an epic film from 1976 with Anthony Quinn I slept for 12 hours waking up at 2pm . Weird. Sometimes, when I get over - tired or perthaps it is an adrenalin roll I can't get myself to go to bed .. it is as if I would be missing something if I did . So , what do I do .. I watch films on T.V.

I watched Al-Risalah " The Message " hoping to learn something about Islam. I try to keep an open mind. Al-Risalah is an epic film from 1976 with Anthony Quinn about the ascendancy of Islam . Emphasis is on the persecution of the early Muslims very similar to the persecution of the early Christians. Suffering , torture , and resulting martyrdom with the consolation prize of rewards in heaven,

To be fair - this is an OLD film- 30 years old so maybe not the best pest place to learn about Islam, but I wanted to see it because a young Morrocan friend who is a devout Muslim had mentioned it. I have come to understand through him that there are good Muslims and bad Muslims.

Back to the film ....So much fighting !!! So much suffering. WHY so much fighting ? Islam as other religions contains such beautifully profound and true messages at its core but these messages seem to get lost in translation and polluted by human lower traits of ..greed .... anger .. hate .. revenge. It is really sad how the essential message of Islam as the one of Christianity is lost under polluted under "mans " interpretation ... and it is very much a MANS interpretation , a man's world.

This film was full of men and fighting. Two women were featured, one a martyr who was tortured and died for her faith and the other an infidel who was very much like our Lady Macbeth in character. Apart from that – I did not see any women. Where were the women ?

As I understand it, the prophet Mohammed loved women. and women were included in the messages he received from God ; messages that stuck up for them and said that they were man’s equal and not goods to be bought and sold as was the way in those days. The prophet Mohammed was a kind and gentle soul. who could neither read not write . A humble shepherd who received God's messages through the Angel Gabriel. So far so good. The messages he received were good. The messages were so against the sword , fighting and killing. The messages were about forgiveness and love . Equality. Men being equal to women. Don't hurt women, cripples , children or trees.

I think it is so sad how we have allowed ourselves to be led astray by world religions.

Ironically , the other film that was on was a Hollywood version of Anthony and Cleopatra. I love Cleopatra films for the fabulous costumes, gold and finery, ancient ritual and mystery .. but here too there was vulgar Roman fighting. A passionate love story though that transcends death a redeeming quality.

So bottom line .. I think we can all do better. We can all be better human beings. It is time that we changed, It is high time we left behind these old outdated beliefs of fighting and killing ; an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth because an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Ah it's been a long day. I don't know what to write about today. Perhaps I'll write about having to get up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday, which is not my wont .. or about my first Tarot Workshop this year which went really well or what about snow that has finally arrived .... nahhh .. not inspired.

Going to watch a film on T.V - Al- RIsalah / The Message on in 5 minutes ... right now there is a weird rather Kitschi Swedish program on called " Bingo Royale "Someone has just one a years supply of condoms and her own weight in raisins. Well well ....

So .. I'll log off now , wishing you all smooches and snogs and all the sort of things that go together with a great Saturday night out, about or snuggled up somewhere cosy and nice xxxx

My mind is totally on penises now after reading Rent_a_bitch 's post. If I had one , I'm sure I'd play with it all day. Btw , I found this site the other day , and it is more than penises and kamasutra, Fascinating. You can get lost in here.

http://www.spaceandmotion.com/kama-sutra-art-love.htm

I would love a set of Kamasutra prints for my bedroom wall. Anyway .. enough .. must get back to work .......

No wonder I am experiencing this need to create.but WHAT ? What do I want to create this year?

I remember thinking earlier this year that it is a number 9 year. Everything can change in the wink of an eye. That's the promise and potential of this new year.In numerology, 2007 is a "9" year, a period of endings, completion and letting go. A nine-year cycle is coming to an end. We're ascending to a higher vibrational frequency. Letting go is a challenge.

I'm not into astrology really its far too technical and mathematical for me - but in a way it helps me get a grip on what's happening.. a sense .. a soupcon.... Pluto in transit through the Galactic centre is stealing the show , making waves, Pluto the Transformer is aligned with the centre of our galaxy - the heart of creation, Vishnunabi in Vedic tradition, "God" to others - all year.WOW .

" Through this portal, we will be unceremoniously stripped of thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve us in a new reality creation matrix. We will remember our mastery. We must first release what we think we know, then we can access higher dimensional frequencies that allow us to create as fully empowered, masterful beings."

And all thanks to Pluto.

Thanks to Jupiter's year-long transit of his home sign of Sagittarius for the promise of hope, optimism and expansion.

Sagittarius urges us to seek higher truth and if we follow this Archer's arrow to the stars, cosmic knowledge will be revealed.

In December, Jupiter catches up to Pluto in late Sagittarius, very near the degree of the Galactic Centre which effects our thoughts and actions. The signficance of this special moment of manifestation can't be overestimated. Apparently the The potential is simply mindblowing so we are advised to mark 11 December 2007 in our diaries and calendars , now.

" Move forward fearlessly " is my message of the day. This resonates well with so I affirm:

" I move forward fearlessly , trusting that each step I take is perfectly guided."

I need to know that things will work out especially since I am moving through unchartered territories again this year.When I know that the universe protects and guides me , I have a greater sense of ease about what the future holds.

Sometimes I forget this and then things tend to look bleak. This feeling that things will work out I think is rooted in my knowledge or rather a deep KNOWING that there is and always has been an angel or divine presence holding my hand. I am so grateful for this as I have come to know that it is not like this for everyone. Not to have this hand of an angel to hold on to .. what must that be like ? Maybe it is better. Maybe then, instead of putting your power outside of yourself you know that this power is within you . Self- esteem; self - confidence. Still , I like the idea of working together with the divine , the angels. Co- creating with ALL - THAT - IS .

Shortly after this message I get a call from E. a man with a business idea ... a proposal to work together on a project. Exciting. I like being found.I am open to opportunities. E. is half Italian and half German which also sounds interesting. Not your average Swede , but a "mixed salad " as he put it.

The idea involves bringing people together .. effective and efficient constellations of people .. energy work . I am curious . We are meeting next Tuesday to talk about it face to face .

Annellie has just gone home . She lives just 10 minutes from me now . We connected on " Passagen "( wwww.passagen.se a Swedish website where people meet. She has moved to Stockholm from Gothenburg to do an Art Therapy course and did an analysis of one of my paintings ( its actually among my pics here ) and quite accurate she was too. Clever girl.

I did a Tarot reading for her and Angels reading - both of which turned out to be meaningful and relevant ,

we also watched the end of a series where a medium contacts the friends and relatives , victims of a train crash and almost dies herself as she has agreed to cross over with the psychologists son. He gets into a right state when he thinks that she has died and reveals all the strong pent up feelings and emotions that he has previously not dare show anyone . WHY ????? WHY ???? WhYYYYYYY?

My pesto con fungi - pasta with wild mushroom pesto , creamy sauce with parmesan,toasted pine kernals, mushrooms and truffle oil ( damn I forgot the truffle oil ) is to die for . I've just finished off the last little bit and washed it down with the remains of Italian red left in my glass while washing up. BLissssssssssssssssss.
I love food .. it's no good .... I am addicted.

So, night night .. all is well here. :-)

Your range of available choices right now has no limits.
The only limits you have are in your mind.
You've got it in you to succeed.
Just make up your mind and stick with it.

You weren't born with any limits on your powers
or any set limits to your capacity.
At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon.

Imagine your possibilities and your vision expands.
Capture your dreams in your mind and your life becomes full.
Reach out and touch the limits of your being in your mind.

If you think you can, you can. --Daily Guru

Playing with boys is fun , but also scary. They are not like girls.

I grew up with two sisters. There were two boys next door and their grandad and our grgaddad would take us for walks to the cricket field , the canal , the woods or the rec Short for recreationalpark where there were swings and roundabouts , a football pitch , gardens and a tennis courts.The graveyard was also next door to this park with beautiful angels that I used to talk to...but that's another story.

I think life is about learning to play with the boys. School is where we get most of our education and it should prepare you for coexisting with boys, not seggregate you from these mysterious wierd and wonderful people.

I went to mixed schools till I was 11 and after that an all girls grammar school the boys school was next door. we would mingle when we could and when teacher- police were looking the other way

I think co-ed is far better . We are in mixed in real life - part of your education has to do with learning to live with the opposite sex - unless of course you choose to be a monk or a nun, which, in my humble opnion comes later when you have tried mixed life and you can consciously choose to opt out.

I also think that education is about preparing you for life - not just academic subjects and IQ , but EQ emotional intelligence and spiritual awareness and integration into everyday life .

What do you think ?

I do love these questions that appear out of the blue. When I asked myself this , I discovered I was quite passionate about how things " should " be .
Ahemmm.. so , for the record , here's what I think. What do you think ? You might also like to add to Cyns blog research.

I went to mixed schools till I was 11 and after that an all girls grammar school the boys school was next door.

I think co-ed is far better . We are in mixed in real life - part of your education has to do with learning to live with the opposite sex - unless of course you choose to be a monk or a nun, which, in my humble opnion comes later when you have tried mixed life :-)

I also think that education is about preparing you for life - not just academic subjects and IQ , but EQ emotional intelligence and spiritual awareness and integration into everyday life .

reading this story gave me such a boost when I first read it . I was reminded of it in my meditation this morning. I know that it is my job to feel good.

Goldie is feeling really down and in depths of despair when she meets Metatron:

" I'm Metatron, and we have known each other since the beginning of time. I come from the higher realms and have created a physical persona for you today so that we may share some time together in a way that you feel secure." She immediately looked around to see if it appeared that others could see him.

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but why should I trust you and believe you?" she asked.

"You don't have to trust or believe me with your mind. You have choice and free will. What does your heart-your feelings-tell you?"

"Well, I guess my feelings are saying that I have no reason not to believe you and that your energy actually feels very good, so I am willing to trust those feelings long enough to see where this goes." She took a step back just to feel safer.

Metatron replied with a kind and gentle voice and said, "I came here today to show you how much you are loved. I've been listening to your rants and cries and watching you torture yourself, and I have come to show you that you are only doing it to yourself."

"You have been asking for work that fulfills you and compensates you what you are worth and provides enough money for all of your desires. You have asked for work that you are passionate about, that gives you joy, and that makes you feel that you are contributing and making a difference. You have asked for work that is fun and that uses all of your skills and talents. I am here to offer you the job. There is a position open that has truly been divinely designed to be a perfect fit for you. Are you interested?"

As he was speaking, Goldie started getting chills up and down her spine and had goosebumps all over. Her heart was buzzing and her face was lit up. It felt like this was the moment she'd always been waiting for - like winning the lottery or a huge competition!

"Am I interested? Are you kidding? I suppose you just have to ask that as a formality, right? You know, to get my `permission' on a spiritual level? You already know my answer!"
"Please! Tell me, tell me!!" she cried out with excitement.

Metatron sat down in the sand. Goldie joined him. "Well then," he said, "Let's get started."

"The first thing I need to know is what salary do you want?"

She looked at him rather puzzled. "Don't you need to tell me what the job is first so I know what my skills are worth? I don't want to say something too high or too low, plus I would think the job would already come with a salary range that has been budgeted."

He chuckled. "Ahh yes, Beloved One, that is a very common thought pattern and belief with you westernized humans! Let me assure you that this job is everything you've always wanted and you get to name your price and design it to your liking, so the answer to your question is no, I do not need to tell you what your skills are worth. You need to tell me what your skills are worth! I understand it's not an easy thing for you, dear one! When you have been living a lifetime being told by others that you are unworthy, it is a mighty challenge to recognize and honor your worth and value!"

Goldie sighed, "Yes, I get that. Of course this wasn't going to be too easy! Of course I'd have to struggle with resistance inside myself on my way to fulfilling a dream!! Why can't fulfillment be easy?"

Metatron laughed a booming laugh. He was laughing as if he had just heard the funniest thing ever said. "Dearest Goldie, I am now stating that part of your job description will be that all things must be done with ease. If you struggle, resist and do things the hard way you will lose your salary! Are you still interested?"

"Of course I am!!" she blurted with exasperation. "Ok. I get it. This is all a test and you're teaching me another lesson. Can't I be done with the damned lessons? I'm so tired of all of this? I just want to be happy, be a divine human and give!"

"Is that all you want? Are you sure?"

"Yes" she shouted with frustration.

"You are asking for the lessons my dear one, every time you feign like you don't know the truth! You are asking for the lessons every time you judge yourself and forget that you already are a divine human, that you already give and that you can be happy any moment you choose!"

"Okay, okay" she replied with a tone of sarcasm, "Can we please move on with the job? Alright, without really knowing what this job is going to entail it's hard for me to say what it's worth and what I'm worth doing the job, but what I'd really like is about $50,000 a month. Now I know that's probably crazy but that's what I'd really like if it were a perfect world. And I know that I'm worth it and so much more on many levels, especially compared to many of the top executives, celebrities and wealthy people out there. "

"Excellent!" replied Metatron. "I will submit your salary for $50,000 a month then."

"Really? That easy, huh? Of course. So are you going to tell me what the job is, then?"

"Yes, dear one. Just one more thing I need to know from you. You can't get fired from this job, but you can resign if you choose to, however when you do the job with resistance, difficulty, force or stress, your pay will be reduced. It will even be possible to receive no salary for a period of time if you go too far off the path of least resistance! Knowing that you can't get it wrong or get fired, are you still willing to give 100% to this job?"

"Geeze! Of course! I've always been a very hard worker and someone who goes above and beyond, and I'm not about to stop that now! Especially when we're talking about my dream job and that kind of money! Plus I've got to earn it . I'd never be comfortable accepting that kind of money if I didn't feel that I was earning it."
"Ok then, but are you willing to be open as to how you define 'earn'? If you think it means you have to work long hard hours and be filled with stress, then this is not the job for you."

"Absolutely! I get it. Ease. Effortless. Let it flow. So please tell me! What is that job and when can I start?"

"Well then, congratulations! You are hired. The job starts immediately.

You are now the Executive in charge of Love in your life. In order to receive your salary you must do the following:

Love yourself unconditionally and at all times. This means you must stop self-judgment and behaviors that are detrimental to yourself. Keep yourself in a state of joy and happiness continually. If you notice yourself falling into lower vibrations, you must bring yourself back into love and joy through your feelings. You must do something-anything-to change how you feel in the moment. Call a friend who uplifts, exercise, walk, watch a funny movie, play in the water and sand at the beach, take a scenic drive, listen to your favorite music, play with a child, play like a child by swinging on a swing or jumping on a trampoline or playing a game!

There are endless small things you can do that will snap you back into the higher vibrations. This will be the hardest responsibility for you as you will find times when it seems you are in a hole so deep you can't see daylight, and this is when your pay will start being reduced, so it is the time that is the most important for you to find a way out! If you stay in the hole too long, you will find yourself struggling for survival again because the money will stop.

But you would not be given this responsibility if you did not have the ability and the skills to do this. Your salary will always begin flowing again with every feeling that you feel that is of the Love Vibration. Trust. Trust Love. Trust your feelings. Trust yourself. Trust your guidance. The second you start distrusting is the second you have left the Love Vibration and your pay will again begin reducing immediately. Love others and more importantly have compassion for everyone. Allow them their journey no matter what.

Even if you see them hurting, you cannot "help them," you can only honor them for the choices they have made. Think happy thoughts! Think joy-filled thoughts! Think love-filled thoughts! The more love and joy you experience, the more money from your salary will come in and it will come in much more frequently.

If you make things hard or do them with resistance and stress then your pay will be reduced also. Your earning potential is purely based on how good you can make yourself feel. If you allow yourself to stop feeling good you will notice that the flow of money reduces.

It is possible for it to reduce to nothing if you allow yourself to judge yourself, feel bad, be angry, sad or depressed, question the why and how of everything in your life, stop trusting, or forget that you are a divine human and dearly loved by all of creation.

"So, do you have any questions Beloved Goldie?"

"Yes. Lots. Why don't I feel good about this? Why don't I feel overwhelmed with excitement? I think I'm more afraid that excited. I'm afraid I can't do it. I'm afraid I won't get paid. I feel incompetent and that I'm not worth it anyway. How can I expect to be in the world and live my life and get paid for just feeling good? That seems absurd!"

"Well my dear, that is precisely what humans have been conditioned to believe for many millennia. Do you believe that you are supposed to follow the herd and believe the same way, or follow what feels right and good and true and love-based to you? Ask yourself if there is anything about this job that doesn't add to you. Ask yourself if there is anything about this job that you even need to discuss with anyone else. Don't you think you can do this job and nobody even has to know that this is your secret? Your magic?"

"But if it's really possible and that good, then I want to share it with others! I hate keeping good things from other people!"

"Precious one, how can you share it if you do not first do it yourself?"

"But where is this money going to come from? Who's paying my salary?"

"That is not for you to concern yourself with. It will come in forms that match the vibration from which you summoned it. Anything is possible. Don't you think that those of us in the higher realms who sit at the threshold of all creation, that we would know how to manifest some simple human money? You must remember that money is not real. Exchange is real. Money is merely a paper or material exchange. It is a symbol. It matters not in the eyes of creation whether money is represented by $1 or $1,000,000,000. It is only an increased summoning of a higher vibration. That is a matter of trust again, dear one. You must trust and then you must allow and be open to receiving. If you are closed off, it will come to you but you will not see it in order to receive it."

Goldie sighed again, then stood up and brushed the sand off of her backside. "Ok then, sign me up" and she extended her hand to Metatron to help him up and shake his hand.

Metatron gave her a huge hug and offered her congratulations. "There's just one small formality. I need you to write the pledge in the sand and speak it, thus acknowledging your commitment to this job."

Goldie knelt down and with her finger she wrote as he spoke:

I Goldie, am a divine human.
I am Love. I am Loved.
My job is to live joyfully and filled with love.
I am worthy. I am worth it.
And so it is.

She stood up and he told her to say it altogether.
She turned to the crashing surf and the azure sea and shouted
"I Goldie, am a divine human. I am Love. I am Loved. My job is to live joyfully and filled with love. I am worthy. I am worth it. And so it is."
Tears of joy streamed down her face as her soul recognized that she had remembered her true purpose. She shouted it again and
whooped with joy and laughter. She turned around to give Metatron another hug and he was gone. There were no footprints leading away from their spot. He was nowhere to be seen. There was only the man and his dog still playing frisbee.

Goldie smiled to herself.

"And so it is" she whispered.

Months later Goldie was in the grocery. An angry lady in line behind her was starting to make a scene because the person in front of Goldie had too many items for the express lane they were in. Goldie stood there and began focusing on a huge shower of love and joy coming down from the heavens all around them. The lady got really loud and obnoxious saying how stupid people are when they don't follow the rules and other derogatory remarks. Goldie just held her ground and increased the love and joy coming down on all of them. The woman in front with too many items was apologizing profusely to the clerk and explaining that she had not seen the sign and since the clerk didn't say anything it wasn't her fault. She turned to look back at the angry woman and apologize to her face and the angry woman said, "Oh my God, Stella? is that you? I have been looking for you for 10 years!"

Goldie moved out of the way and the women embraced. "I'm sorry about my fit. I'm just in a big hurry because my husband is in the hospital from heart surgery and I've got to pick up my kids from school and get to the hospital within visiting hours."
There is a lot of magic in the midst of love an joy. Just be love and joy and everything has a way of working out. Goldie was truly happy. She had grown accustomed to feeling good all the time. Because her vibration was so high in the love frequency she never even attracted negative things happening to her anymore. And at times like that in the grocery store, she knew that she was there for a reason and that she needed to have compassion for the angry woman but not get involved - at least not on a human level! Because she felt good all the time, projects, money, opportunities, trips, and parties came to her on a continual basis.

She had had a devil of a time in the beginning. The first few days after the beach she just couldn't conceive of where $50,000 a month was going to come from no matter what she did! It was a little rough for the first few weeks as she turned on the valve of feeling good and it was wide open, and she magically received money from something she had done long ago and never been paid for. She faltered a few times when people from her past showed up and tried to use her they way they had before.

Over time, she began to understand and it made it even more fun and exciting to see how much joy, love, pleasure and fun she could summon in her vibration every hour of every day to see what would show up next. She met people she'd only dreamt of meeting. She magically was guided to show up at the beach at times when events were happening or someone would ask her if she was so-and-so. You see. when you are in the vibration of love and joy, you have a glow about you and everyone - yes, everyone - is attracted to it. The more people are attracted to your vibration the more they either swear they know you or they really want to know you - almost like being a celebrity!

Goldie is now the one that gets all the calls to do the cool things. And the money just keeps on flowing. She even received a courier delivery of $10,000 cash one time. The red Wells Fargo truck came to her door and a man with a gun on his belt told her he needed her to sign for the delivery. She looked to see who it was from and it simply said International Abundance Merchant Unlimited. She tried to look them up on the internet and it appears that IAMU doesn't exist on the earth plane!

She smiled and thanked Metatron out loud. "Yes, you did say money was easy for you to create. I remember it well. I love you Metatron."

Isn't it intreresting how different everything is seen from a higher perspective ?
" You would never be discouraged if you knew, as we do, that anything you want must be, and that all you have to do is line up with it. You would never be discouraged if you knew, as we do, that when contrast causes you to clarify a desire, that, in the moment of that clarification, even if you don’t speak words about it, Source immediately says yes to that desire and becomes one with that desire. So, there is no possibility whatsoever anywhere in this Universe that your desire is not being answered in the moment that you give birth to it. But if you don’t know that, if you’re still looking at the gap between your realization that you want it and your realization of the manifestation of it, then, because you have forgotten that it’s going to happen for sure, we can see how you might get discouraged.

Feel the difference between something that you want that you know you can achieve, and how exhilarating that is, and something that you want that you feel powerless to achieve. And what we’re wanting you to understand, is: You need not ever again feel powerless about the achieving of anything— because when you ask, it is given, every single time.

There is no such thing as something that is incurable; there is no such thing as something that is impossible. There’s only vibrational discord with the wellness; that’s what illness is. There’s only vibrational discord with abundance; that’s what poverty is. There’s only vibrational discord with clarity; that’s what confusion is.

You have Guidance within you that will help you to quantify your journeys. And so, you can tell (if you care about how you feel) whether you’re marching, marching, marching towards something that you’re going to like when you gets there. People will say, “Abraham, it came out of the blue!” And we say, hardly. You’ve been beating that drum for a long, long time. And you say, “No, I haven’t. I haven’t been thinking about that. I didn’t think about the specifics of this terrible thing that happened to me.” And we say: You thought about enough things that were a vibrational equivalent to this powerlessness that you are feeling (or to this rage that you are feeling) that you activated a vibration that kept you from going in the direction of what you want, and, in fact, took you directly to what you do not want.

When you are feeling ornery, ornery, ornery, ornery, ornery, ornery, you can’t end up in Happyville. It’s on a different path, you see. When you are frustrated, frustrated, frustrated, frustrated, frustrated, everywhere you go, things that are frustrating in nature are there waiting for you. They are waiting for you with open arms. “You planned us,” they say. “You prepared us. You called us from the ethers.” And the Universe and Law of Attraction goes to great trouble (it’s really no trouble at all; it’s just a natural consequence of the Laws of the Universe). Law of Attraction (that which is like unto itself is drawn) will meet you around every corner with the essence of your vibrational nature. It’s everywhere you go. That’s what we mean when we say: you take yourself with you.

What we want you to come to understand is that, here you are, wherever you are, and out there somewhere, is something you really want, and out there somewhere else, is something you really don’t want. In other words, it’s like your future is a big long stick with things you really want on one end, and things you really don’t want on the other end. And here you are, in every moment of every day, making a decision about which direction you’re going. So, it’s like there are all of these potential forks in the trail.

Have you ever taken an airline trip or a car trip, or any trip, even a hiking trip, where you have made a direct line from where you are to where you want to be? Or, are your trips always ups and downs and around things? In other words, aren’t you just always correcting your course, generally going in the direction? Jerry and Esther are amazed sometimes when they look at a map, and they realize that the road that they were on that says I-10 East doesn’t go east a good deal of the time. It’s really interesting how often it is going north, or even south in its general direction of east.

There are many twists and turns in your road, but you must have your Guidance System activated consciously so that you can tell, when you twist and turn, how you’re wanting to correct yourself—because, of course, things are going to happen—of course. Something’s going to sneak up on you that you didn’t see coming because you weren’t aware that it was active in your vibration. Sometimes, stuff got activated in your vibration when you were really little, when you were living with somebody else whose activation was very strong, and you didn’t even know it got activated until you got old enough that you started watching the manifestational response.

It’s a wonderful thing, that what you think and how you feel is always a vibrational match. It’s a wonderful thing that what you think and how you feel—and what manifests—is always a vibrational match. But if you wait to correct your course until something is already manifested, it’s harder to correct your course. We call that post-manifestationa l awareness.

It’s ever so much more effective if you are correcting your course, based upon the way you feel, and that you stop in the middle of an ornery moment and you say to yourself, “I’m marching, marching, marching toward something that I’m not going to like when it gets there. Can I find a slightly better approach?”

Now, this is the thing that we really want you to hear: We do not expect you, because no one has ever done it, to go from an ornery vibration directly to bliss—it doesn’t happen. We don’t expect you to immediately correct your course. We don’t expect you to teleport yourself to where you want to be. This is a physical time/space reality where you have this magnificent buffer of time. So, you have plenty of time to get yourself lined up. And with every effort of realignment that you attempt, you will find a slight enough improvement that you will begin to see manifestations that reflect your effort. Even though you’re not all the way to where you want to be, you will see manifestation that reflects your effort. (We’re not kidding you one bit about that.)

So, you might see yourself as standing always at a fork in the road because there is always the option of finding a way that feels better. In other words, wouldn’t it be nice if? Or, making the best of it. Or, there is also the option of, wouldn’t it be awful? Or, making the worst of it. In other words, you get to choose.

We see a lot of you (lovely Beings that you are) making the worst of it over and over again. And do you know why you do that? It’s for very well-meaning reasons. You make the worst of it because, at every level of your Being, you understand that you are supposed to feel good and that things are supposed to go well for you. And when they don’t, you’re, sort of, freaking out on even very deep levels… there’s something that makes you want to shout, “Somebody should call somebody about this! Somebody should call somebody, and somebody should fix something, so that my life goes better,” ( this is my underlining mm) because you were born with that promise in place. You were born knowing that you are the center of the Universe. You were born knowing that the resources of All-That-Is would back you up. So when something’s going freakishly wrong, we understand your consternation. We understand how frustrating it must be, or how disempowering it must feel. But we want to say to you: All you have to do, is make the best effort you can right now, to fork a little bit in the direction of what you want—that’s all the work is.

Every moment of every day, you have these forks where you can go closer toward something that you want, or further from something that you want.

You want to demand the world give you what you want. And we say, the world cannot give you what you are demanding. The world is giving you what you’re deserving. The world cannot give you what you’re demanding; the world is giving you what you’re offering vibrationally, and nobody can change what you’re offering vibrationally—but you… We think the reason that you may not be very good at it, yet, is because you want to change too much, too fast. You want the manifestation to change, right now. And we want you to just take this opportunity to mold your vibration. Because as you take this opportunity to mold your vibration, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, not only do you feel better along the way, not only do you have more friendly clerks across the counter, not only do you uplift rather than make people feel terrible, you feel better along your way. Your journey is brighter and brighter. And ah, the manifestations that reach out to you, the people that you rendezvous with, they are equivalent to the vibrational forks that you take in the road.

You are the creator of your own reality because you are the chooser of the thought right now.

Don’t be hard on yourself. If you’re standing in a place where you’ve been chopped off at the knees, where you’ve been hit in the gut, where you’re feeling awful, don’t feel bad. Don’t beat up on yourself for not being able to choose the best thought you’ve ever thought. Just choose the best thought you can find from where you are. In other words, just fork off gently in the direction of what is important to you. And before you know it, your path will get brighter and sweeter, and brighter and sweeter. And the people who watch you will say, “You know, you amaze me. Things go well everywhere you go. Why is that so?” And you say, “I’ve come to expect it.” And many of them will say, “Agh.” They don’t want to hear how you expect things to go well. They’ll say, “Oh, that’s because you’re rich. Oh, that’s because you have an entourage that travels with you.” We promise you, no entourage can buck your current. There is no one in the world who can prepare your path for you, you see. You are all as rich as everyone else because you all have the resources of the Universe at your fingertips. And when you take the time, when you care enough to take the time to find the better-feeling thought, now, you’re moving toward something that will please you.

Every step you take, you are marching toward a manifestation. And if you feel good while you’re stepping—you are marching, marching, marching toward things that are going to delight you when they get there. And if you are ornery, if you’re unhappy, if you are frustrated, if you are blameful, if you are angry, if you are hateful, if you are revengeful, if you are fearful, if you are depressed—you are marching, marching, marching toward things that are going to augment that feeling of depression, of anger, of frustration. In other words, the way you feel must net you more stuff that feels like the way you feel.

The better it gets, the better it gets, the better it gets, the better it gets, the better it gets, the better it gets, the worse it gets, the worse it gets, the worse it gets, the worse it gets, the worse it gets. You cannot defy the Laws of the Universe—please give it up! Stop trying to use your words and your action for the stuff that attitude and mood, and vibration are to do. In other words, mold yourself into place. Do the vibrational work before you do the action work, and the action work will be a fraction of what it has been before.

If you take the time to do the vibrational work first, you won’t have to offer nearly as much action. You’ll begin to discover that the things that are important for you just unfold for you because the Universe is at your fingertips. The fairies of the Universe are there for you. You are the center of an enormous entourage that means to please you.

And when you, through your magnificent deciphering of contrast, give birth to a rocket of desire,(oooh la la mm ) that rocket of desire is duly noted, understood, and absolutely agreed with by all of the resources of the Universe. And now all you’ve got to do, is to get in the vibrational compliance with what you are asking for. (Isn’t that nice to know?)

There are three steps to the Creative Process: Step One, you don’t have to worry about; contrast makes you take that step. Contrast causes you to desire or focus, or prefer.

Step Two, not your work, anyway. Source and all of the resources of Source answer your request. That’s that vibrational alignment. That’s that one point of vibrational relativity that happens instantaneously.

So, your only work is Step Three. And Step Three is: Can I find a thought right now that feels a little better than the thought I’ve been thinking? That’s all Step Three is. Finding a thought that causes me to feel a vibration (or a feeling) of relief. So, there is allowing of what I want, or disallowing of what I want. There is allowing of what I want, or resisting what I want. You are either practicing the art of allowing, or the art of resisting. When you’re forking off toward things you want, you’re practicing the art of allowing. When you’re forking off to things you don’t want, you’re practicing the art of resistance. And every day, and every moment of your life experience is a perfect reflection of how you’ve been forking. (Good.) "

Excerpted from Abraham-Hicks Workshop
G-7-30-05 — San Francisco , CA

Byron Katie always begings a mental cleanse by asking " Is it true ? " And The Work follows.

http://srv.ezinedirector.net/?n=1565087&s=44614290

( audio link )

Online version: http://www.thework.com/newsletter_Jan07.html

I was given half a dozen beautiful eggs the other day that came from happy chicks. Eggs , Organic . Free- range from happy chicks that can run around outside and peck at seeds and chuckle and make all the noises that they may. Happy chicks that get a good seeing to by the rooster now and then. Life in the farmyard.There's nothing quite like it.
I held one of these eggs in my hand before cracking it into the pan of warming virgin not too hot olive oil in my cast iron pan. FELT the LIFE FORCE in that egg. It was a sacred moment , yesterday and repeated again today. I am over the moon ectsatic over these beauties and so FULL of gratitude. Thank you chicks.

Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.-- Wayne Dyer

Influx of awareness this morning .. it has something to do with the flow of energy . It’s about my energy not reaching my LEGS and FEET Does the energy get stuck somewhere ?
I am NOT solid- I am energy and vibration – a being of love and light. I’m moving away from this SOLID thinking. Time to leave that behind. There are spaces between the atoms and molecules ... spaces everywhere .. and all the little particles are in perpetual motion .. moving , changing, evolving.

ENERGY medicine is the thing.
Holistic approach to life.

The “ chewing gum “ that was around my brain 10 years ago seems to have settled in my stomach area. I’d like to shift it , to disperse, fragment and break it up.. melt it dissipate .. transform ....get the stagnation moving again... get all the juices flowing and circulating again. HOW ?

It's not the I don't love my big soft tummy .. i do I do ,, but it is heavy to carry around

Weight issues are not only to do with excess fat – that is the external symptom of something else – a complex mass of other things; thoughts, feelings, distorted thoughts, outdated beliefs , wounding.

FAT is not the problem . I ‘ve come to love the aesthetics of my body – love and appreciate it – it’s not that .. it’s the HEAVINESS and the STAGNATION that I am not comfortable with.I want to fel LIGHTER

What if this excess weight is contributing to the blocking of energy flow ? When energy is blocked and does not flow freely, there are consequences. Free flowing thought is also necessary- it is not just blood flowing freely and supplying all the organs of the body that is important. Free flow on ALL Levels and dimensions – BODY _ FEELINGS – THOUGHTS- SPIRIT.. its all of that .

Problems with my legs started when I was 14. Torn ligament. 22, torn ligament again and broken bone, this time a skiing accident. Now this start of the year m sprained foot- the left foot this time. The left side of my body has always been my strong side – so what ‘s going on here ?

I feel this is something to do with BALANCE and FLOW .

Clues can be found in thoughts and my areas of interest and focus at present.

Power exchange, giving receiving, male – female, dominance and submission ,being and doing , distortions , BDSM, positive light side and dark shadows , derisre to please and to be pleased, pleasure ..tantra ? Want to explore tantra .

Abundance, prosperity ....ALLOWANCE of the flow ..this is KEY
Flow of money
Flow of energy, pleasure, desire, lust , creativity , sex, wel- being , joy, creativity , inspiration,
Intimacy,
Relationships ; partnership, sharing, two way communication, interacting all levels includes sex, making love,
Balance- not either or but both, as well as, ...beauty ... harmony
Building of bridges
FOCUS not only on a specific issue, but seeing the issue in the WHOLE – seeing the BIG PICTURE .. having bi focal vision.

Individual solutions
Each and every one of us has to work out and find our own solution and way of doing things. There is NO one manual for everyone. BUT we are guided and there is a huge smörgåsbod of solutions available – We can pick and choose. We can GOOGLE .... try it see if it works if it does GREAT , if not - no worries - try something else .Trial and error .” mistakes “ are good . Dare to make mistakes. Mistakes are a way of learning.

Everything is in a perpetual state of movement and change. Change and maintenance.There is no staying still.
Things are forever changing, growing , evolving.

I feel a sense of gratitude and love that this inspired writing has come to me today. Gathering together a COLLAGE of thoughts and feelings.

NOW is the time to leave behind , to release this need for SUFFERING. We are past the need for suffering. Time for something different. It is time to CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE , well being, joy, happiness, flow, vitality, life force , energy , inspiration beauty .. consciously choose something new and beneficial .. enjoyable.
Can’t speak for all, but so it is for me.

I’ll stop for now .. to be continued.

What's green and grows and has wheels ?
,,,,,,,,,,
..........
..........

Answer: GRASS.... I lied about the wheels .

Off to bed now .. night night all xx

Who are you for a one , I don't feel again you ?

( vem är du för en, jag känner inte igen dig ? )

= who are you , I don't recognise you ?

and another one.

How stands it to ?

( Hur står det till ? )

= How are you ?

Having said that , the Swedes have had great fun at my expense too .

This is really really beautiful. People in harmony with animals. Meditative, artistic, poetic , sensuous , dreamy ..........

http://www.ashesandsnow.org/

Takes time to load depending on your connection speed..............enjoy !

NESTS ( network for English speaking therapists in Stockholm ) BS , BH , LS and I meet about once a month at the Video Cafe in Stockholm and it is so good to simply chill out and " snacka " i.e. speak English and share "fack" språk i.e. talk shop - a good old chinwag with like- minded souls- a TONIC not unlike the Bombay Saphire G&T I had a few days ago.

They do yummy salads and sandwiches there as well as great coffee. I don't like the usual gunge that most people drink , but have discovered what the French call Café alongé ( sp? ) " reclining coffee " which is espresso + water in a big glass. Call me stupid , but it really is good !

So that's it - just had to let y'all know that .
Toodle pip xxxx hasta the next time xxxx

"We cannot live the afternoon of life according
to the programme of life's morning; for what in the
morning was true will in evening become a lie."

-- C.G. Jung

mmmm blessed be. A good friend bought me a bottle of Bombay Saphire gin and It 's lovely .Divine decadence. I have had two big G&T's after sending out emails advertising a course I am holding in February.

I don't often drink, because I think tonic is not good for you - it's full of nasty chemicals and gin on its own is disgusting.

So many emails bounce back compliments of the mailer demon or because I've forgotten a " , " or mis-spelled a name or omitted an "_" or an "-" grrrrr so many things to think about.Details . Details. Hate details.

Still, I'm not complaining . I've had a great Sunday and this last bit I did so that I wouldn't accuse myself of being too lazy.

All in all .. feeling good !

Saw the Sai Baba video on google the other day and it has left me quite confused.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7185106803192503043&q=The+secret++Sai+Baba

Here's a man who has done so much good for people . His teachings preach " love all , serve all " ; hos devotees range from ordinary people to the highly educated. I met a no- nonsense sort of woman recently from Germany a researcher and professor who has been a sai Baba devotee for over 20 years and has nothing but good to say about him.

The documentary was well balanced too, showing Sai Baba's generous altruistic side but also investigating what appears to be be peverted and corrupt.

Now I'm not big on morals and ethics , but I do have a desire know what really is true, what is authentic and what isn't.

The more I live and learn , the more I know that things aren't always what they appear to be. We choose what is real and what isn't. Once we believe firmly in something then we will collect evidence to support that belief and we will always find it of we care to look for it.

Another link I found http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/3813469.stm

Sai Baba: God-man or con man?

By Tanya Datta
Reporter, Secret Swami

Oh India ,and Indian Gurus, you are so COMPLEX you remain a jewel of an enigma to me. You are a psychic mirror.

I do think spirituality is very closely linked to sexuality and sex. Sex is a force to be reckoned with. Orgasm is the closest we come to experiencing God .

Having said that though , there is no way I would give Sai Baba a blow job, but then,,,, I think he is mainly interested in young boys not mature voluptious women ;-)

Final thought : So long as we are in human costume , no matter who we are , we will always have dark shadowy sides ... it is simply in the nature of things .. it is who we are .

Where was I ? Nevermind .. here and now ....nothing . though still feel the need to write something. There must be something waiting to emerge from the depths ?
As I look around searching for inspiration I see creative clutter and I am reminded that what you do to the outside you also do to the inside. I am going to tackle this clearing of clutter as a meditation. A ritual , paving the way .. facilitating clarity of thought. Ahemm

I am an organised person at times e.g when I do the dishes. PLates gate arranged on the dish rack in a certain order, big ones at the back, and small ones at the front. PLates go into the sink first , cos otherwise the plug pops up as the water pours in . I bet you didn't know that , did you ?

Well, before enlightenment , wash dishes , clear clutter .. after enlightenment wash dishes , clear clutter ... and so it is
TTFN all

there's a lot to be said for starting the day with blogger .co.uk. hehehehehe I'm still laughing thanks to the posts I've read so far. Oh today is going to be a good day. lol while TV and radio bombard with storm warnings , 30mps winds , here there's chuckles galore.Special credit goes to Mad -poet and prydwen alias wulfwear the white , thegnof sussex. Thanks chaps ! xxxx

Take short breaks during the day .

Give yourself time to breathe and reflect and assess your progress

Working straight through the day without time to think about what we have done may seem efficient at first, but it can push you to beyond sanity and what is healthy.

Choose rejuvenation again and again .....You'll be glad you did .

*mwaaaaah*

Think for yourself

"I think the reward for conformity is that
everyone likes you except yourself."

-- Rita Mae Brown

Where do you need to think for yourself?

When we begin to cultivate awareness of our
thoughts and emotions, we begin to see just how much
we live according to other people’s and society’s
beliefs and actions. Don’t get upset by this.
Just get in touch with how you really think and feel
inside and begin to express your authenticity.

"Once in a while it really hits people that they
don’t have to experience the world in the way
they have been told to."

-- Alan Keightley

Haven't been there for ages. Nostaligia. The Lanes ,The first ever Body Shop with hand written labels , The Piers , The Pavillion, English Language Centre in Hove, Holland House , students , parties on the beach .......

What I'd like now is to attend Story Waters' one day conscious creating seminar

http://www.limitlessness.com/CCS.cfm

" To better experience conscious creation in your life. We each create our own reality. Through their seminars, you are invited to learn how to create consciously through your own creatorship, rather than through your fears or your limited beliefs (such as a belief in lack).

Working with the group energy over the one or two day events, Story and Lee will give channels, hold question and answer sessions, provide exercises and visualizations and discuss how you can live your life as its creator in an empowered way. And in a way that honours both your humanity and your spirituality at this time of great energetic change on Earth. "

..... enlightening, humorous and personally helpful .........

Would love to stay in a hotel on the beach, and then stroll to the venue, be enlightened.. then dinner .. a nice long sleep and then a whole day in BRighton before heading back to Stockholm .

Morning meditation thoughts wandered to relationships.

Friends are like energies or fairy godmothers flying in..zooming , baring gifts for baby Aurora. Each friend can be seen as colours.  In the "NOW" some relationships have strong emotional charges , others less so.

The constalation changes constantly ..moment by moment. Friends energies zoom into my field of awareness .. either evoked .. or simply mysteriously appear.

Thoughts come and go. I wonder what it is that prevents me from being TRULY present? e.g. MT has a stomach bug so won't be coming over tomorrow which is a pity , but we'll meet on Monday after work instead.

GH is funny sms regarding our last meeting going to and fro. G. mentioned that I have schizoid traits,defences , which has prompted me to read and research schizoid personality traits and defences. Mostly I come across " disorders " which I find INFURIATING and the pharmacueticals benefit. Lots of money in happy pills. That's another story. I so dislike labels and diagnoses anyway.I keep wanting to blurt out " who says ? all the time.

Nancy McWilliams, bless her , writes about it well though in Psychoanalytical Diagnosis.She has a private practice in psychoanalysis, psychodynamic therapy, and supervision in Flemington, New Jersey, and is the author of Psychoanalytic Diagnosis: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process (Guilford Press, 1994) and Psychoanalytic Case Formulation (Guilford Press, 1999), as well as articles and book chapters on personality, psychopathology, psychotherapy, altruism, sexuality, and gender. She is currently working on a book on psychoanalytic therapy, also for Guilford Press.

In an interview ( 2006 ) she is asked :Having written three books on your own, what was it like to work
with such a large group of people to create the PDM?

 " The task forces whose efforts were combined to create the PDM were actually rather small. My own committee, on Personality Patterns and Disorders,consisted of six intellectually vital and forceful people, Eve Caligor, Abby Hirzig, Otto Kernberg, Jonathan Shedler, Drew Westen, and me, with somewhat
divergent ways of thinking about personality. Yet we were all sufficiently clear about the need for a more dimensional and contextual depiction of personality that our enthusiasm carried us through our disagreements. I remember thinking, as we spent a day in the Kernberg home hammering out
various compromises, that this was exactly what I had wanted my adult life to be like: sitting around with very smart people, in beautiful surroundings, discussing things we all care passionately about. "

Sounds good to me.What it must be like to be really smart !

"The purpose of therapy is not to remove suffering but TO MOVE THROUGH IT to an enlarged consciousness that can sustain the polarity of painful opposites."
-- James Hollis

YES to move through it !

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/galleries/index.html?in_gallery_id=9139&in_page_id=1055

Trust in abundance

"Once, when we were discussing a world peace
project with my teacher, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi,
somebody asked him, ‘Where is all the money going to
come from?’ And he replied without hesitation,
‘From wherever it is at the moment.’"

-- Deepak Chopra

How can you open to greater trust that you’ll
always have what you need?

Fear, doubt, anxiety and disbelief all serve to
repel abundance from us. Faith, love and gratitude
for the gifts of our lives keep energy and
abundance flowing. The more we trust in our well being,
the more it will be realized.

"Manifestation is an act of trust. It is the soul
pouring itself out into its world, like a
fisherman casting a net to gather in the fish he seeks;
with each cast properly made, we will bring what
we need to us, but first we must hurl ourselves
into the depths without knowing just what lies
beneath us."

-- David Spangler

Unchartered territory . 2006 was like that. No map. No manual. Very little the same as in previous years. No map . Bravely going forth. Insecurity, doubt, anxiety but some fantastic gifts , rewards of precious experiences , meetings , encouters, lessons , magic wonder and awe ! Wonderful highlights - the rewards of going along with the FLOW , being in the flow.I need to remember this in my lost and down moments.

When we are lost, we typically look at a map to figure out where we are and how to get to our chosen destination. This works well, assuming that there is a map of the territory in which we find ourselves, and assuming that we know our destination.

With me , I rarely know my destination until I get there, which is fun but also quite demanding as it entails using a "muscle " or " sense " or " skill " that is still relatively undeveloped. Consciously listening to the voice of my soul.

Funny in the past I was more unconscious and naiive and unaware of what I was doing - not much in my body at all .. sort floating above it or several paces in front .But , my soul still guided me extremely well. Now it is as if my soul keeps stepping out of the way more and more frequently saying " Look , I've shown you how it's done - now you try . You have to learn to do this simulaneously with me "

At this time in human history, we are all venturing into uncharted territory, whether we know it or not. And as individuals, we may find ourselves covering ground that our predecessors never even knew existed.

There is no guidance in history for what is happening now. We must each learn to think outside of the box .

Not knowing exactly where we are, we find ourselves unsure of which way to go, and eventually the uneasy feeling that we are lost or confused rears its head .

The beauty of being confused or lost means we are forced to look within ourselves and our inner resources and skills to find the way.

Without a map we must go on instinct, relying on our inner compass or voice of the soul to show us which way to go.

Fears arise " What if I go too far ? Become paralyzed ? What if I go the wrong way ? What if I miss a turning " .. So what ??? NO big deal. What's the worst that can happen ?

And yet, this is the very challenge we need to develop our ability to trust ourselves. We are also learning to trust that the universe will support and guide us.

We may believe this intellectually, but it is only through experience that it becomes knowledge of the heart.Wisdom as opposed to information. Learning to be okay with being lost and trusting that we will be guided, we begin our journeyon another level. Advanced course in Earth School.

One way to support ourselves is entertain the thought of not knowing
" I don't need to know exactly where we are going in order to take my first steps".

I am learning to feel my own way, rather than following an established conventional path, Yes it's tough but at least I am learning to trust my self . It is this trust that connects me to the universe and reminds me that no matter how lost or confused or anxious I feel, this is not real, because on the inner level I am already there.There's nothing to do.

I had a strange dream last night
A black woman- maybe a shaman , performing a ritual or maybe casting a spell ?
It is quite specific - though I've forgotten details now
The purpose of ritual - to release a wrongly convicted political prisoner
A ritual or spell she was encouraging me and others to do to release this prisoner and the name of this person was Bah Ray Kent

pronounced Bah Rei ....otherwise it might be Barry Kent

The ritual involved a coin, and a cloth and circling the coin clockwise with a matchstick.

Venezuela was mentioned
Maybe it was a Venezuelan coin - it was silver .

Then finally, she wraps torch that is lying there on the left , in the cloth and says ” now if that doesn't do the trick , nothing will

I rarely have such specific dreams and was trying to remember specifics so I am glad I remembered the name at least.

20 key words that describe each number. Some suggestions.

The Number One:

The Creative, Male, Magician ( Tarot ) Dominant, Alpha, Leader,Ego, Ambition,
Initiation, Beginnings, Individualism, Self, Arrogance, Aggression,
Attainment, Happiness, Fulfillment, Glory, Fame, Birth,
Fire, Unique, Omniscience

The Number Two:

Empathy , Cooperation, The Submissive, Female, High Preistess ( Tarot ) Receptive,Dualism, Balance, Mediation, The Other, Love,
Flexibility, Adaptability, Grace, Dance, Harmony, Devotion,
Obedience, The Subconscious, Water, Soul Mate,Oversensitivity , Co-dependence

The Number Three:

The Divided, Triangle,The Empress ( Tarot ) Multiples, The Holy Trinity, Faith,
Hope and Charity, Expression, Speech, Wit, Society, Art,Artistic expression ,
Culture, Sensuality, Sorrow, Immaturity, Passion, Air,
Surprise, Spontaneity, Change, Sex

The Number Four:

The Builder, Father, The Emeror ( Tarot ) Provider, Home Foundation, Stability, Patriarchy, Power,
Progress, Earth, Justice, Ability, Manual Dexterity,
Practical, The Conscious Mind, Rigidity,Loyalty, Civilization,Conventional,
Traditional, Profit, Wisdom, Commerce, Health, Conviction

The Number Five:

The Visionary, Adaptability,Expansion, Opportunity, The Matriarchy,Freedom,Travel,
Adventure, Imagination, Story-telling, Symbols,5 Senses ,
The Subconscious Mind, Individualism, Freedom, Healing,
Miracle, Choices, Unconditional Love, Mercy, Kindness,
Invention, Resourceful, The New Age, Assistant.

The Number Six:

The Protector, Choices, Decisions, Healer, Nurturing, Children,
Empathy, Intuition, Sympathy, Quality, Sustenance,
Love of Community,Responsibility, Unconditional love, Circulation,
Economy, Agriculture, Charity, Balance, Understanding, Grace, Evolution,
Simplicity, Sorcery.

The Number Seven:

The Analyst, Thinker, Science, Learning, Education, Study,
The Written Word, Logic, Alchemy, Secrets, Myth, Religion,
Ritual, Understanding, Knowledge, Isolation, Chastity,
Dignity, The Collective Consciousness, Genius.

The Number Eight:

The Manifesting, Wealth, Executive ability, Power, Riches, Status,Infinity, Material,Management,
Pragmatism and Mysticism , Provision,Balance, Balance of POwer, Aggregation, Dictatorship, Multiples, Business, Investment, Employment, Appearance,
Customs, Skills, Exchange, Reality, World Transformation.

The Number Nine

artistic genius, The Humanitarian, Religious, Charitable, Philanthropic, Duty, Calling, Mission, Obligations, Hardship,The Higher Self, Spirit Guides, Mysticism, Faith,
Angel on Earth, Faith in Mankind, Optimist, Suffering,Self-sacrifice, Karma, Enlightenment, Divine Wisdom.

The Number Eleven

The Master Teacher,intuition,Idealism, Illumination, Enlightenment,
Inspirational, Idealism, Intuitive, Psychic, Channeling,
Poetry, Art, Symbols, Expression, Dreamer, Revolution,
Drugs, Alternate Consciousness, Mysticism, Catalyst,
Prisoner, Prophet.

The Number Twenty Two

Magic , Dreams Made Manifest, Ancient Wisdom,
Realization, Force of Nature, The Future, Evolution,
Technology, Universal Love, God, Retribution, Redemption,
Love, War, Leader, The Universe, Personal Power, Charisma,
Service, The Divine Imagination.

White rooftops today . Frost or snow ?

After the few days of snow early November there's been nothing. Mildest winter ever. Snowploughs,wheather they are in use or not cost us tax payers ( Stockholm Sweden) millions, Stupid. You'd think they would have a plan B ?

To whom it may concern :

Ice
tiger balm
massage in castor oil and / or apply compress ( BRILLIANT )
Soak in cider vinegar
arnica homeopathic D6 and / or D30

All these helped my sprained foot; that and rest , lots of sleep and legs in the air whenever possible.

Our relationships with others are mirrors that reflect back to us what we believe about ourselves and our own worthiness.

In preparation for a successful relationship , I might need to check out the areeas within me that need some upgrading. Wonder what they might be ?

What have I learned from past relationships ?

How is my self-esteem and self-worthiness ? Self - esteem is heaps better than it was 10 years ago. Self- worthiness .. hmmmm .. need to work on that.

Peer group meeting at my place to review 2006 and set goals for 2007.

The veggie lasagna turned out really well. Mushrooms , chevre cheese , tomatoes and a mixed green salad with rocket and slivers of carrot and parmesan cheese, washed down with Nebbiolo 2003. My very huge and delicate Vilroy and Bosche glasses wre brought out to do the wine justice . I think you could actually get a whole bottle of wine into one glass - not that you would want to.

The nuns talk about obedience , that is it isn't easy , since you have your own will , but when you are obedient , they say , it has its own rewards.

I've always had a problem with obedience.
Paradoxically , though, unconditional surrender is sometimes the answer,

Ahem.

write.. right .. exercising my right to write .. clearing my mind .....

Sometimes I say things that I regret or nearly regret and feel all open, exposed and vulnerable ...but why ? .. cos that is not the truth either. Even if I revealed everything there was to reveal - it would still amount to nothing significant.

" Anything you say may me taken down and used in evidence against you " This is the fear, isn't it ?

Why put thoughts and feelings out here ? Why be a blog amongst millions of others? A blip among countless blips ? Who cares ?

Ego. It must have to do with satisfying the ego. The soul, the true self has no worries or cares. It simply IS and all it does is continuously express itself through the body. Self- expression.

Maybe I am naiive. I think maybe I am , but that is not completely true either as there is a very suspicious , cautious, cynical subpersonality in there also.

I find myself caught between two worlds ; the existential world and the social world. Both exist simultaneously but I shift in my thinking constinuously from one to the other. I live and love in BOTH worlds.

The true story of how I feel changes daily, by the minute, by the second , every passing moment. What I was when I started writing I am no more. Something else.
Ok. I 'm not going to re- read this . Come on Ego, I'm taking you out for a walk to the shops to buy veggies and the ingredients for a lasagna.

A Rather Blustery Night
Hum, dum, dum, dee, dee, dum
Hum, dum, dum
Oh the wind is lashing lusterly
And the trees are thrashing thrusterly
And the leaves are rustling gusterly
So it's rather safe to say
That it seems that it may turn out to be
It feels that it will undoubteadly
Looks like a rather blustery night tonight
It seems that it may turn out to be
Feels that it will undoubteadly
Looks like a rather blustery night tonight

25,000 homes without electricity near Skavsta , that 's where the Ryan Air planes land and take off but maybe not tonight. Not a good day for flying in or out of the country.

Thinking about going to Antwerp in February, for a few days.Filghts go to Charleroi and how does one get from there to Antwerp ? Hmmmmmm Is is easy or a hassle. Will sleep on it.

night night all over and out .peace zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before itstarves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping thelength of a football field. (30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you
imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out? And what is a black light ? )

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

My heart is on fire,
In my madness
I roam the desert.
The flames of my passion
Devour the wind and the sky.
My cries of longing,
My wails of sorrow
Are tormenting my soul.
You wait patiently
Looking into my intoxicated eyes.
You accept my passion
With the serenity of love,
You are the master of existence
One day I shall be a lover like you .

Rumi ?

"Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled
and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...
he cried, ‘Great God, how is it that a loving
creator can see such things and yet do nothing about
them?’... God said, ‘I did do something. I made
you.’"

-- Sufi Teaching

I've been neglecting regular daily meditation lately , but I intend to change that. From now on morning meditation first thing and last thing at night rather than here and there during the day.

Last night's meditation felt good 23:30- to midnight. Woke up at 4 am with the moon on my face and the sound of my painting falling off the story- board on my bedroom door.

This morning's meditation wasn't easy- got lost in thoughts several times but felt stillness towards the end . I know it's not supposed to be any way - just observations- keeping notes.

Funny how what you focus on grows- this came to me today in the mail

Why meditate?

"Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom."-- Buddha

Meditation is considered an essential practice for those who seek self-knowledge and self-mastery. Why? Basically, meditation brings awareness of how our minds work. Over time, we become watchers, able to detach from the thoughts and emotions that play out in our minds.With this detachment, we gain the freedom to choose whether or not to act on our thoughts and emotions. We learn to distinguish between objective reality and our mental and emotional dramas."

Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world."-- Hans Margolius

LIVE AND ACT IN A SPIRIT OF LOVE

The place to begin to improve the world
is in your own heart, head and hands.
To get along with others,
love them without forcing your love upon them.

Imposing your beliefs on people will not bring you peace.
Have concern for others, respect their rights and freedoms,
and let them be themselves.
Do this and you will enjoy peace.

Having consideration for others is the basis of a good life.
Most people are not against you,
they are merely for themselves.
Let differing ideas clash, but not those of the heart.

Peace comes to you when you live and act in a spirit of love.

THE DAILY GURU

http://www.thedailyguru.com/

Things you may not have known about me! ( links to recent post " I don't know about you ..." thought it only fair to get naked with ya .....

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. Aupair for recently divorced man when I was 21
2. Saturday job at Woolworths, 16
3. Assistant d'Anglais , Lycee, Evreux, France ( both when I was in my 20s )
4. Teacher at International School Switzerland .

FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Life of Brian
2. It's a Wonderful Life
3. Being There
4. Don Juan de Marco

FOUR PLACES WHERE I HAVE LIVED:
1.Bradford, Yorkshire , England
2. Evreux France
3. St Gallen, Switzerland
4. Sala,and Falun and Stockholm , Sweden

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH:
1. The Pretender
2. Judging Amy
3. Comedies .....Everybody loves Raimond, Father Ted.,Vicar of Dibley, Two and a half men ( Charlie Sheen ) Little Britain
4. Miraculous ways

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Bangkok, Thailand
2. Venice Italy
3. The Greek Islands and Mainland
4. Poland

FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT:
1. Gratefulness
2. Google
3. Yahoo
4. Blogger.com

FOUR OF MY FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Organic eggs for breakfast
2. Salmon , smoked, baked, poached, paté
3. Potatoes in all forms
4. Creme caramel

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. In bed with my lover who is also my best friend ( not my best friend and my lover lol ) duhhhh
2. A beautiful sunny warm place by the sea
3. Bath ( not the city )
4. Damanhur, spiritual comunity near Turin, Italy

7 words to describe me :

divine fool, wisewoman, witch , whore ,bohemian, loony, open-minded.

I don’t know about you ,but I see a theme emerging in the messages and emails that have been coming my way this past week.

- who am I ?
- who am I in relationship with you ?
- who are you ?

Is the focus on you or me or both ?Are we all reflecting more than usual ? Knowing me , knowing you .. yes .. I am very curious about me and about you .

"Our deepest need is for the joy that comes with loving and being loved, with knowing we are of genuine use to others."

-- Eknath Easwaran

Are you more self-conscious or other-conscious?

About YOU I'd like to know , if you are willing to share ;-) Fill in the answers to the questions below.

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:

FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:

FOUR PLACES WHERE I HAVE LIVED:

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH:

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:

FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT:

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:

7 WORDS I WOULD USE TO DESCRIBE ME.

Go on .... you know you want to !!! xxxx's mm

In reply to Roselyn’s tag

I am not what I think I am
I will survive
I want peace of mind
I see the twinkling 10 billion trillion carat diamond star
I need sleep

I nominate .......I don't want to nominate .. sorry

see zenthru's blog for the diamond

It took me all day to venture outdoors after a week of being housebound I managed to squeeze my now not so swollen foot into boot and trot , or rather limp down the road to Willys for some fresh fruit and veg and a dozen organic eggs. They only had medium , so there will be dilemma tomorrow , two eggs or one ?

I think it will be one. I had munchies today and just now succumbed to Abbas Senapsill , pickled herring in mustard sauce and potatoes left over from lunch. Wicked. I never crave herring . Weird.

One of my former students from Grafiska is working at Willys now. He was running his own company and supplementing his income by working all sorts of odd hours at Coop . Now he is studying Law and will be a lawyer in a few years time. Resourceful chap.

My favourite Rat wants to meet again. I was told I was a tough negotiator . Took that as a compliment. I was not aware.

Meanwhile back in the U.K , Roland’s funeral , bless him. May his soul rest in peace and have wild parties with the angels. I will remember him in his armchair at 3.am at one of R&R ‘s all night Christmas parties , smoking a big fat cigar, vintage cognac in the other philosophising with us while listening to Verdi’s Nabucco or Bethohven’s 9th A good man with a sense of humour .Not your typical conventional dad , that is why we as teenagers would always find our way to R& R’s place .

Another time I remember he played peace maker and used his powers of persuasion to get my mum to allow us to go to one of their parties . “ Don’t be so tough on your mum “ he told me in the car “ When women are menopausal they have these mood swings and become irrational “ lol I was so impressed.

My Love

Your skin glows like the mango , blossoms succulent as the lily in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your oboe voice and leaps like a panther at the whisper of your name.
The evening floats in on a great eagle wing.
I am comforted by your pants that I carry into the twilight of prana beams and hold next to my breast .
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of wine .
As my hand falls from my glove, it reminds me of your pen.
In the quiet, I listen for the last crackle of the day.
My heated nose leaps to my shirt. I wait in the moonlight for your secret lamp so that we may moan as one, nose to nose, in search of the magnificent magenta and mystical dart of love.

http://www.links2love.com/poem_generator.htm
Had to have a go ......Thanks to Juzzzy and Nick

The grief you cry out from
draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness
that wants help
is the secret cup.

Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.
That whining is the connection.

There are love dogs
no one knows the names of.

Give your life
to be one of them.

love dogs - mevlana jelaluddin rumi - 13th century

Blank . Sometimes I simply don't know what to write. Thoughts, as they arise are blurred ... not in the worm of words.

Tabula rasa ,I think means " blank slate " or " clean slate ".

That's what I have today; tabularasaitis :-) ( and it is ok )

2007 a number nine year .
What does that mean ?
number nine - number nine - number nine ?

Have been nursing my sprained and swollen foot since 29/12 . OUCH !! mucho ouch as result of tripping over the phone. Did I enjoy my trip NO !! Still after masses of TLC , cider vinegar baths . castor oil poultice and massage and tiger balm .. all is well and healing as it should. May even get into comfy shoe tomorrow.

New Years was fine. Masses of fireworks before and after midnight.. fantastic view from my livingroom window.

There's a FULL MOON tomorrow , so I intend to review the year gone by and write my story for 2007. A vague outline . Details , still blurred , but will unfold and come into foxus as year progresses.

Intention:

I intend to maintain a strong energy field of love, joy and appreciation.

I intend to look and feel lighter , while keeping both feet on the ground , apart from when flying or soaring up into space.

I intend to feel healthy and well , full of energy and enthusiasm.

I intend to travel a lot and have meaninful interactions with interesting souls.

I intend to be found by my soul mate by 10 June 2007.

I intend to have more money coming in than going out.

I intend to feel good and follow my bliss at all times.

This or better for the highest good.
OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !

Cannot post, please correct these errors:

Tag div is not allowed within tag font

What does that mean ?
I don't understand .