by
miramaze
@ Wednesday, 10. Jan, 2007 - 11:47:53
write.. right .. exercising my right to write .. clearing my mind .....
Sometimes I say things that I regret or nearly regret and feel all open, exposed and vulnerable ...but why ? .. cos that is not the truth either. Even if I revealed everything there was to reveal - it would still amount to nothing significant.
" Anything you say may me taken down and used in evidence against you " This is the fear, isn't it ?
Why put thoughts and feelings out here ? Why be a blog amongst millions of others? A blip among countless blips ? Who cares ?
Ego. It must have to do with satisfying the ego. The soul, the true self has no worries or cares. It simply IS and all it does is continuously express itself through the body. Self- expression.
Maybe I am naiive. I think maybe I am , but that is not completely true either as there is a very suspicious , cautious, cynical subpersonality in there also.
I find myself caught between two worlds ; the existential world and the social world. Both exist simultaneously but I shift in my thinking constinuously from one to the other. I live and love in BOTH worlds.
The true story of how I feel changes daily, by the minute, by the second , every passing moment. What I was when I started writing I am no more. Something else.
Ok. I 'm not going to re- read this . Come on Ego, I'm taking you out for a walk to the shops to buy veggies and the ingredients for a lasagna.