I think I am in lala land most of the time.
I live and breathe in the rhythm of my soul.
Time does not exist
I enjoy being here with you
and in my own little space of the universe.

All of a sudden I awake with a bump when I realise I've forgotten to post the VAT returns form that needed to be posted several days ago.
The one for May arrived today.

*sighs*

Papers need to be gathered together for the Tax Returns form
I hate anything to do with figures and filling in forms for authorities.

ANGST

I do have someone to help me and I am so grateful .
I have to make that phone call soon as they have to be done by 2 May.

*sighs*

I can do it
I know I can
I got things together tonight.
It's not really that bad once I start
Major moments of panic when I fear I have lost a document.
Insanity.
It will all be over soon though.
Now .. I'm off to bed
Night night

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet."

Franz Kafka

Got up at 9 am this morning which is early for me.
I shall try and make a habit of going to bed around 11pm
so that I get to see more mornings.

Summer has hit and it seems like the whole of Stockholm is on holiday. Some very scantily clad people while some in anoraks and winter gear.

MA called from London, on her way to work. She’d been trying to get through to me on the phone for a few days without success. It has been quiet around here. I wonder if there is something wrong with my ground line. Mum also complained last week.

Session with H the shrink went well. Mostly about relationships
I learned that :
I can be happy without two way communication. i.e. it is possible.
My happiness does not depend on a good relationship with ARA.
Remember to ask myself “ What can I do for you to day , Mira ? “
I’m to make a list of what he/she should be like ( and isn’t )
It’s my thinking that stresses me out and makes me miserable
I am getting better at not censoring my negative thoughts straight away, but catching the negative feckers and turning them around.
Practice makes perfect.
Shed tears and felt a lot better.
Brilliant, this psychological hygiene.

On the way back , stopped off in town and bought GH her birthday present, Will be celebrating hers and JS’s birthday tomorrow. That’s 3 birthdays this week.
G’s present is a beautiful turquoise ceramic pot on little legs. Apart from the stunning colour it has potential – either as a plant pot or to hold coloured pens, brushes or whatever. Hope she likes it.

I’ve still to get J’s present – which will be oil paints. She wants to paint more. Must phone artist friend to see if I can get supplies at artist rates.

So far .. a good day; still sunny and warm. Food shopping to do now

Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements is for many a life-changing book.

agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

I find that the second one is the most difficult one...but .. I'm getting there ! lol