My friend Barb in Chicago keeps sending me these ;)

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours
and Shithead's.

I live in my own little world but it's OK,
everyone knows me here.

I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same
effect just by standing up really fast.

A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: 'Buy one dog,get one flea.'

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make
Bloody Marys.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can´hear Mom's wise words: 'Don't
pick that up, you don't know where it's been!

:) :wave: