miramiramazing

I said I might post pics. Unfortunately they are not WILDLY exciting, and I'm sorry to say there is not one of the Haga Bulle ( Cinnamon bun ) as I never made it to Haga Parken but ended up going food shopping and cooking dinner.

Was able to make salad from lettuce grown on my balcony and add a few rocket ( ruccola ) leaves which are still a bit tiny but add a spicy peppery taste.

Dinner ? garlic and chilly prawns with home made bread to dip in and mop up the sauce , creamy wild mushroom risotto and mixed salad. Icecream and strawberries for dessert by which time A-S and I were singing songs in English Swedish and Latvian . I despises singing and being sung at most of the time ,which just shows how tipsy I was.

After that out came Leonard Cohen 's " Like a bird on a wire , like a drunk in a midnight choir , I tried in my way to be free " By this point I was wishing there was more red wine , but sadly there was not . I walked A-S to the train , as we sometimes do in Miraland returned home and slept soundly ...I've been feeling dozy all day

Enjoy the pics .... oh yes .. it rained too ....

Had breakfast on my balcony to day, shared these days with the Pidges. but we have an agreement. They are here during the night and I reclaim this space during the day , esepcially when it is warm and today it is warm, hot even - the rusty old thermometre shows 38C I'm sure that's not to be trusted though

The petunias, I think they are petunias , that I planted yesterday smell gorgeous . They have a delicate sweet scent that tickles my nostrils and are the deepest bluey purple. A bumble bee is doing its work among the snap dragons. I can see swallows and hear the chatter of magpies and the cawing of seagulls. Last night I could swear there were bats flying overhead.

I can also hear the neighbour's little Tim laughing and playing on their balcony which is below mine . Earlier he was running and running around pitterpat pitterpat..very hiyper at times , he is, though quite and sweet most of the time .

Going to Haga Parken later to meet A-S.for a walk and Haga Bulle - a huge cardemon bun and pot of tea. Will post pics later.

Tarra for now

I love lavender.
For the past 10 years or so , I've bought some in the summer and have NEVER succeeded in getting it to survive the winter.

I've tried big pots and smaller pots.
I've brought it indoors for the winter - no joy
I've tried adding crushed eggshells to the soil as I read somewhere that it liked that.

My balcony is sunny and warm and I water my plants regularly.

Any more advice ?

I'd really like to see this film. There are snippets on You Tube , but the DVD would be better

"A movie with no conventional plot: merely a collection of expertly photographed scenes "

A spiritually uplifting film , touching heart and soul

Met Rami yesterday at Medborgarplatsen. Come to think of it , it was amazing that we did meet. Medborgarplatsen is quite a big and busy place and we'd arranged to meet there at 5 pm. There are two exits to the tube station and I could have taken the pendeltåg which meant that I would have arrived from another direction. Rami had already told me that he'd lost his mobile. Anyway , by some fluke I chose the right exit , which is one that I don't normally take and there he was , at the top of the stairs , waiting. Right on time !

Rami and I met through blogging about 3 years ago and it's two years since we last met. He'd just returned from Jordan and brought me an insense burner and some sachets of inscense powder with strange Arabic writing. Once lit , Rami then went round my flat a few times swinging the insense burner and blessing my flat.

This time Rami wanted to show me Stockholm's Bohemia - the South Bank , known as "Söder " I remember taking Nick,Shipscook and MrsF there and getting lost a bit. We actually passed Rami's flat near Katarina church , though we didn't know it at the time. This part of town is worth exploring ; dotted with small boutiques, ethnic shops , cafes and bars with cheap ( cheaper ) bear

We had tea and a delicious panini grilled sandwich at a small cafe sitting outside and watching life go by. My panini was delish ... dark country bread , cheese, tomato, mustard and onion and it was absolutely mouth watering yummy.

We always have lots to talk about, travelling from one topic tp another...questions ...observations.... thoughts arising, some with answers some without.

Rami wanted to show me where he lived , all 20 square metres, and for me to meet his lovely wife, Petra . I wanted to bring a bottle of wine so we stopped by the Systembolaget , but unfortunately it was closed Instead we drank more tea, Rami played some beautiful Arabic and Greek /Turkish music on the guitar and I was introduced to BARAKA , an amazing inescribably fascinating film !

The title Baraka is a word that means blessing in many different languages. I want to post a link here , but something is amiss in cyber space right now .. still, the whole evening yesterday was a blessing.

:wave.

Watching the Pidges is very Zen

I am learning a lot.

They are teaching me about being in the present and being in the now.

Nothing is complicated; it is what it is.

If someone puts a snowball in the middle of your nest; build round it. Be creative and deal with it. You know you can.

If at first you don't succeed , try , try and try again.

Persistence pays.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Even a day or so apart can make a big difference on how you feel when you return.

Relationship. Be sensitive to the needs and wishes of those around you, while staying true to yourself your own integrity.

I love this blaze of flamingo pinky yellow orange tongues and wings
I feed off them.
Nourishment for the soul.
As I look at them and breathe in the colours , my heart sprouts wings and flies away.
My spirits soar and my soul rejoices 

Placing the glass ball in the middle of the nest didn't work. They simply carry on building , regardless. Stubborn feckers. Persistent. I have to admire their tenacity.

No sign of them yesterday and I began to miss them, but then , I think it was Mrs Pidge who arrived this morning , on her own , and started cooing and pacing up and down on the balcony rail a few times before flying off. She returned later with Mr Pidge ." It's time now " she says " I just has to lay these eggs now " and has been sitting there ever since.

There's a whole lot of building going on.
She is sitting on the nest, laying eggs , while he flies over with sticks for the nest.

He pauses, stick in mouth as I approach and then flies in to her and places the twig on top of her. I expect he will rearrange later. It's one step at a time with these birds.

They're allowing me to come close too to take pictures. They must be desperate. *sighs*

Getting rid of the "welcome " mat didn't help, and neither did the " closed " sign or " Sorry , no room at the inn" sign

It's on to plan B now
Shhhhhh .... the eggs will somehow disappear , I think

Yesterday I wrote about something that been puzzling me : why choose to push a closed door open when there is already one open ?

http://miramaze.blog.co.uk/2008/06/24/something-that-has-been-puzzling-me-4357940

Today I read this Zen story , and I am wondering if the closed v open door puzzle and this are related.

A Zen Master asked his student, “Why are you rushing so...what is your hurry?” The student replied, “I am after enlightenment, there is no time to waste.” Said the master, “And how do you know that enlightenment is running on before you, so you need to rush after it? Perhaps it is behind you and all you need is to stand still.”

We are programmed by so many unconscious beliefs. Some serve us , others do not.

" it's too good to be true "
" no pain no gain "
" there's got to be a catch somewhere "
" you have to work hard to get anywhere "
" you can't get anywhere without effort "

My mantra for the past ten years or so has been " Everything I need comes to be with love and ease ". I like to believe this is true as opposed to " no pain no gain "

Thanks to all of you who commented on this post. I do enjoy pondering on these things sometimes and appreciate alternative ways of thinking

:http://miramaze.blog.co.uk/2008/06/24/something-that-has-been-puzzling-me-4357940

I enjoy being in my body and I nourish it each day.
I am connected to the earth and the safe foundation it provides for my future growth.
I believe in my abundance.

and so it is !

I take the tube into town and get off at the end station and then up the escalator to the exit and these 4 doors.

Time and time again I've noticed people exit by the first three doors , which are always closed.

Me.. I  use  the open door.. saves having to push ... makes sense to me , but not , apparently to the majority of others.

Why is this ?

I've only ever seen one or two people using the open door .

Odd.

tgo me

Saw this outdoor photo exhibition on the way home

So I goes off today today on the 69 bus to the Embassy to pick up my new passport 15:40 ( they close at 16:00 )

I arrive at the same time as two Indian chaps- a man and his father. The son is fed up of Sweden now that Swedish love has expired and children grown and left home...wants to ask a few questions about relocating to the U.K.

As I'm first , I get to ring the bell , state my business and wait for the security guard who arrives a few minutes later on the OUTSIDE of the building carrying my passport.

" please check the details " saith he .. which I do ... and notice that they have not changed my middle name as instructed Go one .. take it back and fix it !

For 159 Euros you EXPECT them to get it right
So back it goes..bionic chip and all (the new one has a BIONIC chip , it has !!! )

And , I get on the number 69 bus again and head for home

Physio is going really well. My ankle is practically healed now and the muscles in my legs are getting stronger. My right leg is the weak one because of a ski injury 30 years ago - 15 cm scar and 7 cm screw with nuts and bolts !!! < Impressive

Fredrik is fantastic. He was the patience of a saint . He draws diagrams of the knee for me and explains why a particular exercise is beneficial, which is great , because I hates exercise , but now I feel more motivate. Must do to get stronger and prevent more problems in the future.

The cartiledge has been eroded and the synovial ( sp ? ) fluid in the knee has deteriorated so what have at the side of my knee is what hey call " artros " in Swedish , and I believe it is osteoarthritis

I got about half an hour more this time as Fredrik's next patient didn't turn up. We sat and chatted for a while about how to handle these situations. A physiotherapist sees 40 patients in a week and if some fail turn up , he pay is deducted - about 700 SEK . One or two cancellations are fine , but if people make a habit of simply not turning up without phoning or cancelling properly , it is not acceptable.

Made me think : We teach people how to treat us don't we ? Sometimes we have to be firm to be kind. ... and that applies to Pidges too

wonder if they will get the message ?

Flippin eck .. I'm beginning to behave like Inspetor Cluseau in the Pink Panther hahahaha ... must get a life ;

I have to laugh. They are smart little feckers, those Pidges.
Thought I was being clever by placing a plantpot where the new nest was being built but instead I think I must have made this more comfortable for them

You'll be sick of hearing by now , and if so ... stop reading now
I really don't mind them nesting BUT , they do make one heck of a mess and it's my neighbours that suffer and complain as the poop drops through onto their balcony - and there is a lot of it. I've covered the gaps with plastic bags which should help.

Anyway , birds should be making their nests in the woods or in the fields. Am I encouraging dysfunctional behaviour ? They must be confused by now. This used to be their home . They grew up here and now they are evicted and shooed away No longer welcome. What have I done ?? Lackaday .. what do now ?

I was planning on getting an Oyster card to use while I am in London beginning of August. Apparently someone has cracked the oyster card security

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/vdunet/20080623/ttc-researchers-crack-oyster-card-securi-6315470.html

Three pigeons on my balcony this evening; two big lovebirds , Pidges 1 and 2 ? and one smaller one. The two lovebirds keep seeing the other one off.

Pnm closer inspection of the balcony , I noticed the beginnings of a nest in the only possible place under one of the pot stands.

What to do ?
I 've now covered the spot with a plant pot. Surely now they will get the hint , unless of course they choose to make the nest in the plant pot itself.

Sorry Pidges,Please forgive me, thank you , I love you .... off to a lovely spot in the woods with you ! One round of nesting Pidges was delightful , but enough now . Too much poop

Off into town in a minute to meet Hans for lunch and housing consultation. After that might head off to the British Embasy to pick up my new passport

It's cloudy and cool here , rain during the night has messed up my balcony a bit tsch !! I hope it gets warmer soon.

Today's affirmation :

I am guided by my higher power and wisdom. I am awake

" Every step you take should be a prayer. And if every step you take is a prayer, then you will always be walking in a sacred manner."

Oglala Lakota Holy Man

Toodle pip

Innit strange .. that miles away and still so close , certain rock stars are sipping ouzo and watching the glorious colourful sunsets in the heat ...oh for 35C ?

*takes a sip of glass of chilled Kir ( not Royale , but just as good ) and munches on freshly popped popcorn, before dinner.

Lotta and Peter were supposed to be joining me , but Lotta's mother has just had a stroke and they phoned to cancel at last minute. I shall be dining alone tonight with Leonard Cohen for company and maybe a film. Pity that. Poor Lotta , poor Lotta's mum.

Toodle pip ...will check in later after dinner

A message out of the blue from Rami

http://www.ramiswall.blogspot.com/

"Helloo Miraaa! Wishing you a happy midsommar, now that the rains gone and the sun is up again... I am just about to finish (your copy) of the celestine prophecy - time for some tea maybe ? :-) "

I love these surprises

Tea sounds nice . It's been two years since I saw Rami. I wonder what he's been up to . I want to hear all about his adventures.
So I wrote on Rami's wall ( Rami has many walls to write on )

" and she feeds me tea and oranges that come all the way from China .." a la Leonard Cohen echoes in my head. Earl Grey Green is my favourite tea of the moment....which leads me to

http://www.globalpoet.com/cohen.htm

" And she feeds him tea and oranges that come all the way from China ..." and the next thing I know is that I find this gem , this Leonard Cohen treasure . Brill !

http://www.globalpoet.com/cohen.htm

clicky read and enjoy ..... *scoots off to find " Suzanne " *... and get some tea x

Cohen's Nirvana
Source: www.globalpoet.com
An Appraisal of Suzanne By Leonard Cohen

Thank you Rami , always inspiring ((((hugs ))))

I've decided to start each day listing things that I am grateful for and have set up ablog to keep a record.

On today 's list :

- a lovely comment from someone on my Art of Being Human blog. It feels good to be acknowledged and appreciated. Thank you , thank you , thank you .

- an email from Rebbie about manifesting money . Some very useful advice.

- VISUALISATION as a tool came up in my meditation

- Fun and games with the Pidges. One flew right into my bedroom when the balcony door was open. lol Cheeky little fecker. !!! I see the two of them sitting on my balcony and on the neighbour's balcony looking around for a new home, probably. Well , unfortunately for them , it's not going to be my balcony this time. It took me ages to clean all the bird poop from their two month stay. Pidges , I love you dearly, but please find another home , blessed be.

TTFN

Just what I wanted. A passionate colourful film to round off Midsummer I'm talking about the film about Frida Kahlo , the Mexican painter and her relationship with Diego Rivera.

Frida Kahlo painted using vibrant colors in a style that was influenced by indigenous cultures of Mexico as well as by European influences that include Realism, Symbolism, and Surrealism. Many of her works are self-portraits that symbolically express her own pain and sexuality.

A few years ago, I sought out the only cinema in Stockholm showing this film , right on the other side of town, a tiny fringe cinema and cafe run by a bunch of enthusiasts. It was quite an experience. I went on my own and when I came out of the cinema the moon was shining brightly . It was quite an andenture in a strange sort of way, not easy to put into words

It's so refreshing seeing all this colourful Latin passion and drama here in Sweden where everything is sensible , practical and pale in comparison. Bland as opposed to spicy.

" Acid, tender , cruel as the bitterness of life " ....says Diego Rivera of her work in the film

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

-- Lao Tzu

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.

We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and
our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.

Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.

"It matters not Who you love, Where you love, Why you love, When you love, Or how you love, It matters only that you love."

-- John Lennon

from : www.thedailyguru.com

Solstice, 20 June 2008, is  Midsummer's Eve here in Sweden. Meadows full of wild flowers,  feasting, making merry , midsummer magic and madness, sunlight and moonlight, midsummer night dreams. Everyone's in  the countryside  so peace and quiet reigns in towns and suburbs.

" The northern polar axis of the earth tilted most sunwards marks the advent of summer and long days of sunlight. Like the earth, may we bow before the spiritual sun, so that we are bathed always in its transformative light. "

from www.gratefulness.org.

Cheers ! Love Light's  Delights and brightest blessings to us all at this time.

((((hugs ))))

The day started on a sad note when I discovered that baby Pidge nr3 had died and Mrs Pidge was no where in sight. Finally time to reclaim the balcony, no excuses.

After the "funeral", I made a start on the balcony , moving stuff and cutting and ripping out the old filthy pretend grass floor covering. It was hard work  and a mammoth task , after which came the scraping off of bird shit.  droppings and finally scrubbing the floor emptying bucket after bucket of dirty water.

In other news, my passport has arrived and ready to be collected at the Embassy on Monday as they are closed tomorrow it being Midsummer's Eve. The Systembolaget  akka Wine and Spirits Monopoly is closed now for 3 days . This is Sweden Now for some shut eye .. I'm knackered . tata

Sad news. The pigeon story has come to an abrupt end, sorry to say. This morning , I hear Mrs Pidge cooing, standing on he balcony rail looking out and finally flying away. I go out ontgo the balcony to investigate only to find the nest deserted and little Pidge number 3 lying there a motionless little ball of yellow fluff and no sign of the other egg. What could have happened ? Poor Mrs Pidge. Bless the souls of the departed little Pidges. I'm feeling and emptiness, a loss. I admit to having enough of the mess and wanting my balcony back , but I did not want the story to end like this. Not like this It is what it is. *sigh*

I suppose I must now go out to bury the dead and face the mammoth task of cleaning and disinfecting the balcony. Farewell blessings , baby Pidges , may you fly and play in peace in Pidge Heaven, 'tis a far far better place than the mess here on my balcony.

Ancient Mother has many names

Simply an impression... a hint .... she's orange and bright tonight

Right , that's it .. enough doom and gloom for one day. I 'm choosing to come out of despondency because there are other more exciting and cheerful places to be.

Today I am grateful for :

Comments and posts from friends that have a knack of cheering me up and helping to get things into perspective. Thank you.

Discovering the Goddess site ( see previous posts )

Witnessing yet another a tiny baby pidge fluffy yellow miracle .

Having enough money to pay my bills. Admittedly , I am a bit low on funds , scraping the bottom of barrel, but , I am not in debt, and I know that sometimes you have to make room for more currency .. as it it , indeed CURRENT .. and flows IN as well as it flows out

I am also grateful for my sense of humour.

My ankle is a lot better - hardly notice it now

The banana and fresh fruit smoothie that I am about to have now.

What are YOU grateful for today ?

See also www.gratefulness.org

X

Change is all around us and I am not the only one going through changes.
Change is necessary too- we'd be in a heck of a mess if things stood still and didn't change. '
I am reminding myself that CHANGE is a good thing and necessary for growth I am willing to change

Found this in the daily guru today

ALL PERSONAL GROWTH INVOLVES CHANGE

What happens to you is not as important
as your reaction to what is happening.

Well, the third little Pidge has now hatched and Mrs Pidge is still sitting on the other egg. At first I thought it must be dead , but as I watched I saw tiny wings flutter and other signs of movement. This littlun must have hatched under the June full moon. Bless its little yellow feathers.

Water symbolizes the whole of potentiality – the source of all possible existence.

–Mircea Eliade

...and then I found this gem of a site

www.spiralgoddess.com/

....... and this blessing

May the Waves fill us with Your Sacred Wisdom
Your Names flow from our tongues in Reverence
Thank You for the Wonderous Experience of Being Alive
We Chant Your Names and are Grateful

"Despondent " is a word that came to me in response to my question " how do I feel today ?" It's not a word I usually use, so I looked it up.

" despondent implies a deep dejection arising from a conviction of the uselessness of further effort "

Hmmmm .... close to how I feel.. or is it.... hang on a minute.... who have I been rejected by ?

None that I can think of.... apart from maybe myself.

There we have it.

Sometimes these negative thoughts creep in and leaving a trail of heaviness or sadness behind. I notice I am feeling lighter and brighter at this discovery .. at this awareness.

Thank you www.dictionary.com ... a bit like a thermometre really eh ?

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
de·spond·ent Audio Help /dɪˈspɒndənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-spon-duhnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
feeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom: despondent about failing health.
[Origin: 1690–1700; < L déspondent- (s. of déspondéns), prp. of déspondére. See despond, -ent]

The full moon is rising, a peachy round ball. The sky is blue and the air is still and fresh cleared by the thunder storm earlier today. I managed to get caught in it on my way back from the post office. A real downpour ,it was, bucketing down fiercely as I strolled along, enjoying the rain and hailstones beat down on me and my brolly.The bottoms of my jeans were soaked through when I got home.

The day has whizzed by, largely devoted to Household Management - filing bills and papers, making phone calls, getting organised. Running a home can be a bit like running a business if you choose to do it that way

Went to pick up a parcel that was sent to a corporate postal centre instead of the usual place. Turns out it is right down my road in an area called a " Business Park ". Service there is a lot nicer too. No queues an friendly chit chat.

The parcel turned out to be a Nokia mobile phone a Nokia 1650 from the Phone House. The invoice said SEK 850 and then =850 and then 0 0 0 0 0

Could it be that I've been sent a free phone for being good ? The telephone company said that it was indeed a free phone , part of a campaign and a reward for renewing the mobile phone agreement

I've not dared to break the sealed package in case they decide to charge me for it..silly .. I know. Will wait a month , I don't need it right now anyway.

Sounds exciting !

My doctor and shrink is very much against 3G and so am I. He says that the 3G masts are far more harmful than the GSM , 2G , ones.

I don't understand the techie bits.. not interested but I AM concerned about the increasing pressures we put on our planet and ourselves by pollution and adding more and more harmful vibes and emissions. For WHAT ?

I noticed that the new sim card my phone company has sent is 3G.
*horrors*

My mobile phone, little Sam Sung , is GSM , simple and friendly. Sends texts, makes and receives calls, takes messaged , vibrates or plays nice tunes and that is enough for me. I don't want animations or music or a camera in my phone. What the heck do I need 3G for ?

After 20 minutes talking to the phone company about contracts , checking long numbers on new SIM card ( so tiny that a magnifying glass was needed ..ahem )

I'm sure I am not alone in this. Methinks there are forces at work that step over what we little people think and want and tell us what we need and want. I don't like being programmed. I'm putting my foot down.

Anyway.. I was told that I could keep the terms of the agreement WITHOUT changing to the new SIM and that I could just chuck away this new SIM complete with chip. What a waste ! It's not right

Cor blimey .. what are they thinking ?

http://www.surrenderedwife.com/

"The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage to revitalize intimacy.

Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

* Give up unnecessary control and responsibility
* Express their needs while also respecting their husband's choices
* Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle or dismiss their husbands
* Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage - from sexual to financial...and more.

The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union."

well....I'm not convinced lol
x

Started the day by going to the gym to do my exercises

well done me Feeling stiff now, but that's ok isn't it ? Ankle is getting better and I'm probably feeling muscles that haven't been used in a long while.

Also found time to submit a job application. I applied for a similar position 2 years ago, but it went to someone else. We shall see. I don't expect to get it , but it would be nice if I did.

My new sim card arrived and I have yet to activate it. I don't enjoy this technical stuff and programming and still another pin code to remember. So many codes and pins to remember. How am I expected to remember them all ? Shyysh !

Good afternoon, Blogland . This started as a comment on OldNick's blog. Too long for a comment so I'm posting it here on my blog where I can find it again when /if I need to.

I think there is too much emphasis placed on " doing " and not enough on simply " being ".

Ideally , life is a mix of do-be-do-be-do or my life is more a do -be be-be do be be be do

I woke up at 3:30am this morning , came here to blogland for an hour ,went back to bed until 9 :00 and since then have been busy " being " flitting from one state of being to the other as the fancy takes me.

I'll probably have tea with a friend who lives nearby, maybe even walk there. It's a sunny day with the chance of showers. Unpredicatable. Now for some more being TTFN .. have good one , and may the force go with you

It's been raining this morning, which is quite good as it is needed. Cloudy and grey now, ab out 12C, which is also OK , for a while. I much prefer the heat, but a day or two of cool can be nice.

While lying in bed reading and thinking and dozing off , I've enjoyed listening to the neighbour's two year old, little Tim , running about all over the place , laughing and sometimes crying. Where do these tiny tots get their energy from ? They are also quite clear about their feelings and don't hesitate to express. Marvellous to be so uninhibited and so unconditioned. It's Tim's dad's 40th birthday today and they are going to have a party. I expect he's excited too.

For the past two weeks I have been helping a friend through a life and death sort of crisis not knowing all the while that I've had heaven and hell going on in my own life. At times I've been in heaven, at other times a nightmarish hell.

I came to think of this story :

Heaven and Hell
There's a samurai who wants to learn the difference between heaven and hell so he journeys far and wide to find a Master who can answer his question.

Finally standing before the Master and asks him " What's the difference between heaven and hell?"

The Master takes the samurai’s sword and, turning it to the flat of the blade hits him on the head.

The samurai is surprised but chooses to ignore it thinking that the Master has probably misunderstood the question so he repeats his question " What's the difference between heaven and hell ?"

Again the Master strikes the samurai on the head. The samurai staggers back completely baffled by this and approaches with his question a third time but before he can utter a word, the Master strikes him a third time.

Well that does it ! Something snaps inside the samurai and he grabs his sword from the Master, raises it over his head and is about to bring it down on the Master’s head when the Master raises one finger and the samurai stops.

"That is hell," says the Master.

At this the samurai becomes so overcome by the courage of this frail old man that he falls on his knees and bows before the Master.

"That is heaven," says the Master.

Suicidal thoughts can be good thing ; a sign of change and transformation ahead. A shift.

" Write about your fears." says H. " Make a list and examine the list. Question each fear. Do the Work on each."

"Answer the question : What 's the worst that can happen ? And then ? And then ...? "

My current housing situation problems and worries , friend in crisis, problem with legs have probably stimulated me to liberate myself from old fears that I have been harbouring in my body. On one level I have already solved problems. What I need to do now is solve them on a conscious level to feel lighter and happier. ''

Like the DEATH card in the TAROT , I seem to be heading for transformation and change.

My passport expires on 15 June , so today I went to the British Embassy to hand in my passport application forms.

At 3:30 pm , the place was deserted. I rang the bell, stated my business and was told that a security guard would come and let me in. It was an airport like experience. I was screened and then afore mentioned security guard politely asked if he could look inside my bag and then I was allowed to go in to the deserted waiting room.

I was served by a jolly Scotsman , who checked my form ,asked a few questions, and then debited my credit card SEK 1520. I save SEK 70 by going to pick the new passport up personally in about 10 days time. So, for the moment I am without passport.

Today is the day I get " shrunk " or a "slap me happy " day.
I usually get shrunk once a month on a Monday, but this time H. asked me if I didn't mind changing to Friday- " It's Friday 13th " he pointed out. " No worries " says I

Friday 13th , lucky or unlucky for you ?

see you annon

She's right in the middle of my south facing picture window.
Silver in a sky of blue , 10:30 pm
The sky in the west is still light and will remain so until midnight.

I love this "l'heure bleu " and would like to stay awake , but I'm drifting off to sleep.All the exercise today has me knackered.

Night night May the Goddess fill your dreams with magic tonight.

Woke up at 8:30 , quick shower , no breakfast , no internet connection and then across the road for 2nd physiotherapy session.

Have forgotten the door code - two of us in the same predicament, but fortunately someone coming out lets us in. Fredrik greets me cheerfully and I confide in him that I've hardly slept, lots going on, issues etc , foot hurting and that he should not be surprised if I burst into tears and that it is nothing personal.

I blurt all this out in English , for the first time, I tend to switch to English mode when upset or under stress, but it's fine Fredrik trained in Australia so he welcomes the chance top practice his English and show off a bit.

After a brief chat he has me cycling for 10 minutes to warm up and chats to me as I peddle away. Next , all sorts of exercises. standing on a wobbly board , balancing, standing on one leg, stretching, steppin on and off a step etc etc He's so clever and encouraging that the time passes quickly. He tells me that I can come in and used the gym when I like. Nice.

On the way out, I a woman sitting in one of those walker things looks up from the book she is reading and strikes up a conversation in English. She tells me that she woke up to found she couldn't move !! It's all a bit scary, but alright , she says. Turns out she is Finnish and used to work as a travel guide. She came to Sweden with her mother during or before the war. Somehow they had got a ticket on the boat arrived in Sweden penniless. It was the same for my parents , I tell her.

Somehow after after all this my mood has changed. I feel better but tired and starting to ache all over from the excercises. Funny , the way of things, I think to myself . At home the internet is working again and breakfast is delish !

Happens once a year .. and always different , full of surprises and blessings. No plans for today .. simply going with the flow , enjoying and savouring every moment.

Let the beauty you love , be what you do.
Celebrate all that is good and blessed in your life, realising that gratitude is a powerful remedy.
Appreciating your blessings incrteases the vitality of your life force.

YES !

Today I am celebrating all thst is good and blessed in my life. I have such a lot to be grateful for *insert mile long list here *

Greetings and phone calls have started to stream in and every one is a DELIGHT ! Thank you all for all messages sent and thought.

LOVE LOVE LOVE ... Tuesday ,10th June, 2008 is a wonderful day

The 10th of June is a great day to be born , isn't it ? xx

Many happy returns .. yeahhhhhhh xxx

Well, I've done a bit of tidying and a bit of vacuuming. New clean sheets on the bed. Think I'll do the kitchen now. Might just do it all naked

I'll be back when that's done .. with a glass of red wine , maybe

It's a fine day for ventilating and mumbling. In fact I 've just had a mumble on rundontwalk's food blog .. so much so that it became a post so I am including it here too .

http://foodaddicts.blog.co.uk/2008/06/09/food-aamp-i-4292433

My name is Mira , I LUFFS food and I am a food addict

I'm picky , I love to eat what I like, I like the smells, taste, colour , shape , form and sensuousness of the foods I like.

I'm careful about what I eat ; cook from scratch, avoid additives and preservatives and choose organic wherever possible. Eating is one of the pleasures and joys of living.

I am sick and tired of all diets and shoulds and musts and nagging about excercise and avoiding this that and the other . It's depressing and it makes me feel sad and life is about feeling happy and good.

I've thought a lot about food and weight gain and health and have come to the conclusion that it's not good to FOCUS on food all the time.

From now on , I'm going to eat what I like , when I like and ENJOY without feeling guilty about what I have CONSCIOUSLY CHOSEN to eat and accept the consequences whatever they maybe. 100% responsibility. Just shut up , eat, enjoy and not make such a song and dance about it

This is the plan.

Sorry for ventilating ... but it had to be done. Thanks for listening. I wish you all good luck with your food story .

http://foodaddicts.blog.co.uk/2008/06/09/food-aamp-i-4292433

I've just done 4 loads of laundry. and clothes now hanging around the flat drying . Smalls go into the tumble drier I'm glad I have one of those

Two trips into the bowels of the earth to laundry room , no lift, treading carefully because sprained ankle is still unstable.

Oh woe is me but have to laugh .. otherwise I cry.
Hate making myself a victim.
Just ventilating and getting things off my chest.

It's done now, anyway.

I'm going to vaccum, tidy and wash the kitchen floor today so that I can wake up tomorrow and my birthday , to a clean and tidy home.

that is the plan.

I'm trying hard not to let things get me down today and it'd hard

Got my mobile phone bill for May which includes SEK 135 ( about 13 Euros or 10 GBP ) for 9 sms i.e . text messages from www.wixawin.com .... and it's all my own stupid fault. * bangs head on desk * I've been had. Diddled. Probably like thousands of others

BE WARNED !!! It was one of those things you click on to answer a b or c to win a laptop or holiday or something and somehow I must have consented to these texts , which cost 15 kronor ( about 1.50 euros ) a go even when you DON't take part !!! grrrrrrrrrr

Phoned the telephone company who had me wait for 20 minutes until I could speak to someone, and then was transferred to someone else because she couldn't find my invoice ...and anothe 15 minute wait.
I have been practising patience and understanding .. but it is really difficult.

Anway ... I've managed to unsubscribe to www.wixawin.com bastids :::: and hexed them to get a taste of their own medicine.

Finally, I've decided to bite the bullet, forgive and forget.

Done . Out of my system now. Affirming that 135 x 10 will come to me as a gift from the Universe by way compensation or summat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0pa3gJ98u4

Took the number 69 bus and a packed lunch out to Djurgården and Blockhusudden . I was scoffing my second spinach and feta cheese pastry when this big boat comes swanning by.

A few sailing boats , motor boats and a couple of those water scooter things competing with each other

The Viking line , probably on it's way through the archipelago and to Finland

As I looked across to the other side I noticed the crane and some sort of activity going on ...

The basket like thing would descend and then rise , stopping at the top, at which point someone would be cast out into the air in a bungy jump leap . One or two would actually dip into the water . It looked scary to me , but people sitting at the tables in the cafe, supping wine or beer seemed to be quite at ease , while on the other side of the pond , I would find myself gasping in horror

Fell asleep at 10 pm exhausted and woke up an hour ago at 1.40 am. Why am I falling asleep and waking up at odd times ? It's so unlike me. Odd. I'm in the front room , blogging and watching the sky turn lighter shades of blue. I can't actually see the sun as I'm facing south and east and the rising sun is behind a house and a big tree.

A single candle is burning next to me and MacLappy as I type, bathing everything in its golden light . Peace is all around me and I can hear a single bird twittering merrily .

There's quite a lot of clouds in the sky. I wonder if our spell of hot summer is over.Temperatures must have touched 30C recently. It's been amazing. * roll of thunder * as I write this .... hmmmmmm

Sky is grey and white now ... methinks time for a bit of shuteye and listen to the rain ....
TTFN will be back with yesterdays adventures and pics

Rats ... and I forgot
Caught out.
Doomed.
Why the drama?
Why the fuss I hear you ask ?
Systembolaget , the only shop selling wines and spirits , CLOSED today , of course "#€%%&&&///( all day

It is not that I am dependent on the fermented grape beverage, BUT, I resent not being able to buy a bottle of wine to go with dinner when I feel like it

This is a relatively new thing.. I think it started 2005 .. I suspect Sweden felt left out because the Norwegians make such a fuss of their national day , 17 May.

Me .. I'm not fond of public holidays or patriotic national days . Totally unnecessary... with a tendency to go wonky.

Ah well ....yet another opportunity to love what IS :sigh:::::

* mira consciously choosing to sulk for a while *

Where is our Merm ?
I can't find her blog

Arrrrrrr.....I was tagged by Shipscook to do this

The Rules:
Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1. What I was doing 10 years ago:
Starting to restructure my life after getting all burnt out.My son had turned 21 and was on his own two feet , so I suppose it felt ok to start seeing to my own life. I embarked on a 4 year professional training course in Psychosynthesis, which I also had to finance myself. 4 very tough years , but I'm glad I did it.

2. What 5 things are on on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
Write Penny a letter
Get Penny a gift
Get gift and letter to Rashid before he leaves for England tomorrow.
Figure out what I can get her.
Check up on friend in crisis.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
Homemade bread fresh out of the oven dipped in virgin olive oil .
Crisps !!
Wasabi peas
Taramasalata dip with toasted pita bread
Wedges of roast potatoes dipped in tomato garlicky salsa
Popcorn, popped in olive oil with a bit of herb salt.

4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire:
Oh this would be fun !!!
Make sure my family were comfortable but not spoiled.

Support various charities to fight poverty and hunger.Start schools, sponsor education and the arts,Give back to those who have helped me on my journey. Adopt children. Start a Miramaze academy / holistic centre ?

Arrive at the airport with just a credit card and hand luggage a fly to whereever my fancy takes me at the time; stay at comfortable interesting places with character , even avoiding the superdooper luxury ones, Florence, Venice, Rome . Lisbon, Morocco, Egypt , Taj Mahal, ... explore Austalia , NewZealand, visit my friends around the world , attend the next BCUK meet in style ; make my money work for me rather than working for money .....

5. Places I have lived:
Idle, Saltley, Earls Court, Evreux, St Gallen, Sala, Falun, Lidingö, Helenelund, Sundbyberg, Stockholm

Right... I tag Meno, adamantix,lara-dart,amaletska,sallyontour, Sankara

Overcome by fatigue at 7 pm after a lovely evening meal of grilled salmon, veggies and a couple of glasses of chilled white wine. I went to lie down for a while at 7 pm and woke up at 11:15 pm.

Switched on the TV and got caught up in a film - Stanley Kubrick's "Barry Lyndon " from 1975. based on the novel The Luck of Barry Lyndon (1844) by William Makepeace Thackeray with
Ryan O'Neal as the unscrupulous 18th century Irish adventurer, Barry Lyndon né Redmond Barry.

I think it finished around 1:3O am . I looked outside and think I spotted The Goddess, a barely visible crescent in the southern sky. Hmmmm either that or it was a bright star. I haven't seen her for a long time , despite my looking and the clear skies. Odd.

Toodle pip happy Friday everyone !

On of these days , along with thousands of others .. millions even, I will finally get it that fear is an illusion and that there is nothing to fear.

In the meantime , I shall keep collecting quotes and words of wisdom to reprogram myself .. and others

Here's today's words of wisdom from Neil Donald Walsch

....that it is never safe to look into the future with eyes

Just... let it go. Then make way for a surprising tomorrow.

Don't know what hit me last night,started feeling exhausted by 9 pm and by 11 was in bed .. snoring , out for the count.

A-S wanted me to do a Tarot reading for her so I gathered myself and took the train to her place after scoffing a most delicious creamy brown rice chantarelle risotto.

We sat in the yard , drank tea and I did the reading.

Neighbours Ola and Sigge stopped by for a chat.

Sometimes I wish we had a nice yard. Theirs is well kept with tables , parasols , a barbecue spot , flowers , trees and very cosy surrounded by other houses and their balconies.

Velvet Lovecraft

Seeing " The Bucket List " with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman has got me thinking. It was either Ganesha or Kaliyogashaktimama who asked me if I'd written one.

Writing a list is not as easy as you might think. Some things I want to experience seem impossible to achieve- like winning a huge amount of money on the lottery.I know this would have consequences and would require a certain amount of money management and would I be up for it ?

Found a site called http://www.43things.com/ and have actually signed up there and started my list.

Department of Health & Welfare Australia
Minister for Health
P.O Box 69
Canberra ACT 2600
Canberra, DATE \@ "MMMM d, yyyy" \* MERGEFORMAT August 27, 2006

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PHYSICIANS

CONFIDENTIAL

Subject: New contamination possible in most States

Recent studies conducted on "aphthous fever" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted to humans. We foresee a possible contamination in most Australian States. Cases have been reported in Melbourne (3), Sydney (2), Adelaide (4), Hobart (1), Brisbane (2) and more recently in Canberra (1).

It was observed that the subjects examined were regular consumers of wine and spirits. Most (97.6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without alcohol for 1 to 2 days on average.

Extended periods without alcohol would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, individuals would start to hallucinate and see coloured specks when staring at an object for extended periods.

If you encounter any such patients having these symptoms, please contact the Crisis Centre in Canberra immediately.

Our research to date has resulted in a cure, consumption of alcohol every day for 3 months!!!

Please pass this document on to everyone you believe at risk!!!

Every story can be told in different ways.
-- Greek Proverb

So true !

Maarja and I met on Nybrokajen , walked along Strandvägen which is where we first spotted this old boat near the Vasa. Three restored boats were on show there. You could go on board the biggest one and interest was huge judging by the long queues .

It's been an evening of telephone calls. I called my mum in Bradford and then my sister in London.

Mum's doing well , which was good to hear and the hole in the wall caused by builders next door has now been repaired to everyone's satisfaction and the two alcoves wallpapered and looking good. This whole business has taken about a year and a half involving numerous phonecalls,registered letters, threats and help from the citizen's advice bureau.

I also learned from mum that birds, especially crows and pigeons like cheese. Mum had put out bits of old cheese for the birds. A big black crow had fought a cat for these tasty morsels lamenting and screaching all the while.

My sister in London agreed to put me up for 3 nights in August. Nice. It would be a tight squeeze but we'd manage... and there was a very good Indian take away near by .. first meal sorted The Oyster card was also mentioned. I remember Shipscook mentioning that too . It sounds complicated .. will have to google and research , Getting to her place is straightforward though ; Picadilly line all the way and then Finsbury Park and the bus or Hollow Rd and walk.

Planning journey is exciting.

The whole weekend was gorgeous.
Hot, sunny and most enjoyable.
Saturday .....
Flow.
A mix of things.
A colourful patchwork; a cocktail.
Regular phone calls, serious moments, checking on depressed friend in crisis and despair
as well as delightfully enjoyable moments in town
Two baskets of strawberries fcor 20 kronor at the end of market day, Hötorget,
Tea with Rashid at café next to the cinema on lively Kungsgatan
The hot sunny weather transforms and adds magic to every thing and every body.
" The Bucket List " at the Saga
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OltHNarHA9A
Wonderful drama comedy.
Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, both outstanding.
I like the idea of a Bucket List: a list if things to do before you kick the bucket.
Joyful moments.
Walked to Gamla Stan and Riddarholmen - on of my favourite spots in Stockholm. It's a bit of a backwater . Calm.Charming. Enchanting. Enigmatic. Feels like a secret place. Lovely energies ; fabulous view of the water and Stadshuset.
Sat on the steps overlooking the water and wathed the sun set.

After the " Bucket List " Rashid and I walked to the Old Town and Riddarholmen to sit on the steps and watch the sun set over Stadshuset ( CityHall ) It was one of those balkmy magic first warm evenings of the summer.

( Pics are in reverse order )

Happy Birthday Adamantixx !!!
As you are Gemini , you get two

Have a fabulous day .... and a wonderful " new year ".

((((hugs )))))

X