"Despondent " is a word that came to me in response to my question " how do I feel today ?" It's not a word I usually use, so I looked it up.

" despondent implies a deep dejection arising from a conviction of the uselessness of further effort "

Hmmmm .... close to how I feel.. or is it.... hang on a minute.... who have I been rejected by ?

None that I can think of.... apart from maybe myself.

There we have it.

Sometimes these negative thoughts creep in and leaving a trail of heaviness or sadness behind. I notice I am feeling lighter and brighter at this discovery .. at this awareness.

Thank you www.dictionary.com ... a bit like a thermometre really eh ? :))

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
de·spond·ent Audio Help /dɪˈspɒndənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-spon-duhnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
feeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom: despondent about failing health.
[Origin: 1690–1700; < L déspondent- (s. of déspondéns), prp. of déspondére. See despond, -ent]