miramiramazing

My "shrinking session " had me in tears today.Pent up emotions surfacing and needing to be processed.
The last 6 weeks have seen me face existential challenges to do with house and home and now this business with mum getting old . It's so sad to see her becoming more and more vulnerable. Lots of adult things to face and process - it's heavy work. I've spoken to my sister and emailed BT . I've done all I can think of . At times like these we need to rely quite heavily on our angels to step in and lend a hand.

Will have an early night tonight. Pity I don't have a bath tub . I got quite used to a nice hot soak before bed while I was away.

Night night xx

A bright and sunny morning ; blue skies and sunshine as I wake up for the second time. I can see the pale crescent moon in the sky through my bedroom window.

Time to get a move on. I have an appointment with MrH the shrink. Bless me, it has been 6 weeks since my last confessions. I'm always curious as to what will come up. I shall resist the tempatation to " prepare " and simply trust the process.

There is peace and calm in Miraland, but I can't help feeling concern for my pint-size little mum back in Bradford. Her phone was disconected on Tuesday, the day I left as she is switching over from Virgin to BT and they have to install cables or something. The has said they would call beforehand but one wonders HOW since the phone has been disconnected , dead as a doornail ! Mum waited all day for BT to come only to find a note left by them under the plant pot to say they had been at 3pm . She was most definitely at home. Now , I hear from my sister that they are not able to come again until 28th !! It's a disgrace for an 83 year old lady to be without a phone for so long.

I want her to get a mobile phone , but she wont have it. Has anyone here any experience or ideas regarding ultra simple mobile phone subscriptions for the elderly ??

If all of you, when you went home today, found your homes had blown away, you would be happier in the days and weeks and months to follow than if you went home and everything was normal -- because it causes more focus of desire. There is all this fresh stuff pouring through you. It's like opening spaces to new allowance.

If every remnant of success was gone from you -- still you stand as the culmination of all that you've learned. And we don't mean learned in the sense that now you know how to do it again. We mean you have been the creation that has been in the process of being created, and here you stand as this clearer, more focused wanter and allower than you've ever been before. Which means, you can take your next breath of desire and step into your next place of allowing, and all that you ever had, and ten times more, can be in your experience immediately -- when you accept that you are the asker and the receiver, and the letter-in of all of that.

 

Excerpted from a workshop in North Los Angeles, CA on Monday, August 13th, 2001